If there is one thing I am certain of, it’s that our thinking can get in the way of our happiness.

Rather than be a receptor and transmitter for our instincts and intuitive knowing to flow through us, like the hardware of our computer mainframe that translates the information from our software, our thinking habits can muddle and confuse us—especially when it comes to matters of the heart. When you are concerned with figuring out your life plan and your passion, the subtle heart language can become drowned out by the brass band that plays in the mind. Until the frenetic activity of our busy, worrying mind is quelled, we cannot hear the whisper of the heart that says, “I know what’s right for you.”  It takes practice to get back to the stillness within that allows the heart to be heard.

Often buried under a mountain of expectation, fear, and outdated beliefs, our heart intelligence yearns to be heard. There are three ways, which I have identified for myself, that clear the pathway from my heart to my head. These methods allow me to receive the clear direction and intelligence of my knowing heart that speaks to me through my instincts and intuition.

1. Feel to Heal

Give yourself permission to feel your life fully and completely. Your feelings are trying to tell you something. We live in a culture that does not encourage us to feel but instead to numb out to our feelings. Our feelings are our best navigational tool to direct us and even tell us how our thoughts may be getting in the way of allowing us to be truly free and happy. I encourage people to express their emotions so that they can empty out what’s there and be filled with new ones like joy and bliss. In my experience of moving through grief, my connection to my heart felt free and easy after I let go and cried, screamed, danced, or laughed hysterically. My body would tell me what I needed, and any expression of my emotions liberated me. As I expressed and emptied, I would be filled with peace and stillness, and as Rumi said, “In the stillness is the voice you long to hear.”

2. Practice Peace

Peace is cultivated from inside. We must tend to our inner sense of equanimity, like the stirring of slow burning embers in a fire. I recommend an early morning inspirational ritual. How you start your day is how you live your day. Breathe deeply. Live inspired first thing in the morning. Find that sanctuary inside and visit it often, and, even amidst chaos, you will find PEACE. Breathe. In this still place, the brass band is quieted, and your heart is playing your song like a finely tuned symphony.

3. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

So you can experience the big joy and magic of your life. If you are focused on the small stuff of life (the minor annoyances and pettiness of small circumstances that happen each day, then chances are you are all but missing the big stuff life has to offer you in joy and gratitude. If you place a red dot on a blank page representing the one thing that went wrong in your day or something someone said that bothered you, and you are focused purely on that dot all day long and into the night and perhaps the next day, well, life is actually happening in the white space of the page. To refocus your attention, ask yourself the question: Will this matter a year from now? If the answer is no, then you are dealing with small stuff. Keeping life in perspective helps establish a stronger connection to the heart.

As you feel to heal, practice the art of inner peace and learn to let go of what doesn’t serve you any longer, and you stop sweating the small stuff, you will be better able to tame the monkey mind and tune into your heart language. Your heart holds the key to unlocking the door to your passionate bliss, and all you have to do is learn to listen.


Kristine Carlson captivated readers worldwide with her first three bestsellers Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff in LoveDon’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Women and An Hour to Live, An Hour to Love: The True Story of the Best Gift Ever Given of her life with her late husband, Dr. Richard Carlson. In the first new book in the Don’t Sweat series since Richard’s passing, Kristine shares her wisdom with moms, offering tried-and-true advice that will empower them to find greater peace, joy, and harmony within themselves and their homes. Check out the new book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff  for Moms.

For more on Kristine, please visit her website dontsweatmoms.com, or on Facebook or Twitter.

*Photo by mikecogh.