I’m a very impatient person, and standing in a slow-moving line is one of those very small, maddening aspects of life that drives me crazy. As often happens, however, when I learned more about the experience, it became more interesting to me.

I happened to read a paper by David Maister, The Psychology of Waiting Lines. The piece is aimed at people who operate stores, restaurants, doctors’ offices, and other places where people fuss about being kept waiting. Of course, most of us are the ones standing in line, not the ones controlling the line, but I was fascinated by getting this insight into my own psychology.

Maister’s main point is that the actual time we’re waiting may have little relationship to how long that wait feels.

Eight Factors That Make Waits Seem Longer:

1. Unoccupied Time Feels Longer Than Occupied Time

When you have something to distract yourself, time passes more quickly. Some hotels put mirrors by the elevators because people like to look at themselves.

2. People Want to Get Started

This is why restaurants give you a menu while you wait and why the orthodontist puts my daughter in the examination room twenty-five minutes before her exam actually begins.

3. Anxiety Makes Waits Seem Longer

If you think you’ve chosen the slowest line at the drugstore or you’re worried about getting a seat on the plane, the wait will seem longer.

4. Uncertain Waits Are Longer Than Known, Finite Waits

People wait more calmly when they’re told, “The doctor will see you in thirty minutes” than when they’re told, “The doctor will see you soon.” Maister gives an amusing illustration of a phenomenon that I’d noticed in my own life: If I arrive someplace thirty minutes early, I wait with perfect patience, but three minutes after my appointment time passes, I start to feel annoyed. “Just how long am I going to have to wait?” I think.

5. Unexplained Waits Are Longer Than Explained Waits

We wait more patiently for the pizza guy when there’s a thunderstorm than when the sky is clear.

6. Unfair Waits Are Longer Than Equitable Waits

People want their waits to be fair. I get anxious, for instance, when I’m waiting on a crowded subway platform, when there’s no clear, fair way to determine who gets on the next car. The “FIFO” rule (first in, first out) is a great rule, when it works. But sometimes certain people need attention more urgently, or certain people are more valuable customers. Then it gets trickier. Often, when people are treated out of sequence, it’s helpful to have them be served elsewhere (e.g. people giving customer service by phone shouldn’t be in the same room as people giving service in person).

7. The More Valuable the Service, the Longer the Customer Will Wait

You’ll wait longer to talk to a doctor than to talk to a sales clerk. You’ll stand in line longer to buy an iPad than to buy a toothbrush.

8. Solo Waits Feel Longer Than Group Waits

The more people engage with each other, the less they notice the wait time. In fact, in some situations, waiting in line is part of the experience. During my book signings, I’ve been very gratified to have people tell me, “I had so much fun talking to the people in line!”

Since I’ve read this paper, I’ve been far more patient about standing in line. I’m occupied (see #1) with thoughts, analyzing my own experience of waiting in line! Also, it may not always be good for us to be able to distract ourselves with our cell phones, but it sure makes the DMV easier.

Have you found any good ways to make waiting in line more pleasant?

 

Also …

If you’re thinking, “Hmmm, should I read Happier at Home? or “Shouldn’t so-and-so have a copy on this on her shelf?” here’s some information to help you decide. Short answer: Of course you do! And of course she does!

-Read a sample chapter on the subject of “Time”

-Watch the one-minute book trailer, “Ten Ways to Be Happier at Home”

-Request the one-page book club discussion guide

-Read the behind-the-scenes extra (I had a great time writing this)

-Come to a book event


Gretchen Rubin is the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller The Happiness Project—an account of the year she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier—and the recently released Happier at Home. On her popular blog, The Happiness Project, she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness. For more doses of happiness and other happenings, follow Gretchen on Facebook and Twitter.

*NOTE: Gretchen has been chosen to be one of only 150 people who can post original content on LinkedIn. Follow her here.

*Photo by goodrob13.

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