I get a big kick out of the page of my bank statement that reads, “This page intentionally left blank.” No, it’s not blank. It has that notice printed on it!
As I’ve worked on my happiness project, I’ve been struck by the contradictions I keep confronting. The opposite of a profound truth is also true, and I often find myself trying to embrace both sides of an idea.
1. Accept myself and expect more of myself.
2. Use my time efficiently, yet make time to play, to wander, to read at whim, to fail.
3. Take myself less seriously and take myself more seriously.
4. Someplace, keep an empty shelf and, someplace, keep a junk drawer. If you want to see my empty shelf with your own eyes, watch here at minute 6:41. Some people are dubious about whether I actually have one.
5. Think about myself so I can forget myself.
6. Paying close attention to something sometimes helps me to ignore it. (Like cravings.)
7. Often it takes discipline to take pleasure.
8. If I want to keep going, I must allow myself to stop.
9. The days are long, but the years are short.
Often, the search for happiness means embracing both sides of the contradiction.
Take, for example, item #1 above—certainly one of the central challenges of life. W. H. Auden articulates beautifully this tension: “Between the ages of twenty and forty, we are engaged in the process of discovering who we are, which involves learning the difference between accidental limitations which it is our duty to outgrow and the necessary limitations of our nature beyond which we cannot trespass with impunity.”
Which ones particularly resonate with you? What am I leaving out?
Gretchen Rubin is the author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller The Happiness Project—an account of the year she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happier—and the recently released Happier at Home. On her popular blog, The Happiness Project, she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness. For more doses of happiness and other happenings, follow Gretchen on Facebook and Twitter.
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