Growing up, my parents always told me to do my best, but being the overachiever I am, even my best wasn’t good enough for me. I can be very driven, feeling like I can always be better. I can always take on more and prove myself more, until I am buried in this feeling of never enough.
When you are hardwired to be a perfectionist, doing your best seems like a failure if it’s not perfect.
When you go down that path, your best sometimes feels like it’s never enough. I think I am hardwired to be a perfectionist but to be sane and happy.
But here’s the catch, I’m not always the best version of myself. Sometimes I am controlling, short, frustrated, maxed out, exhausted, over worked, and grumpy. Life is full of ups and downs. It’s not always easy to act my best.
I want to be perfect. I want to be GREAT at everything I do and have the freedom to live life the way I see fit. But life doesn’t always yield the kind of results I am looking for, and it’s in those times that it’s hard not to be a grouch.
Striving for excellence is admirable, but striving for perfection is a recipe for disaster.
Perfection makes me feel like an extremist—I’m either perfect or a complete failure. There’s no wiggle room, no shades of grey.
So, how do you act your best when you want more than the best? How do you make peace with your best?
1. LET GO OF GUILT, SHAME, AND JUDGMENT
You are probably wondering, “What is she smoking? That’s a tall frickin order!”
You’re right. It is a tall order, but listen up. Guilt, shame, and judgment come from past wounds that the vast majority of us have never healed. Guilt, shame, and judgment are really mean voices in your mind that make you feel like shit and prohibit you from the truth.
You are human. You are born to make mistakes, not to be perfect, and the sooner you can accept your flaws and look at them as something that helps you grow rather than something to be ashamed of or judged for, you will start lightening up on yourself.
You might not always act your best or do your best, but you have to forgive yourself for errors and keep on growing. The more and more you become aware of what snags you, what triggers you, what holds you back, and makes you feel bad about yourself, the more you will understand what actually stands in the way of you acting your best.
In order to act your best, you really have to examine and take an interest in the times you aren’t the best version of you.
Your shortcomings have information. Once you can get to the root of why you act less than your best, you can begin to forgive yourself and understand why you behave the way you do and change it.
2. ACCEPT THAT YOUR BEST MIGHT NOT BE THE BEST
This isn’t a contest. Your best might not be the universal best, but if you strive to be the best version of yourself, while also forgiving yourself when you slip, having compassion for the times you can’t always come from a higher and more consciously awake place will help you act your best.
There will always be someone faster, better, and stronger than you, so don’t compete. Be the best version of you by devoting yourself to awakening and having accountability when you don’t.
Beating yourself up, shaming, judging, and feeling guilt over your mistakes doesn’t help you.
Learn from your mistakes and use them as information and a guiding light for what you don’t want to be. Even our worst has something to give and teach us.
3. BE WHERE YOU TRULY ARE AND DON’T JUDGE YOURSELF FOR WHERE YOU ARE NOT
You might have this idea of the kind of person you want to be or what your best looks like. It is good to strive for excellence, but if you are constantly caught in a cycle of self-abuse for what you are not, then you are not helping yourself; you’re harming yourself.
You can only be where you are.
You will grow.
You will change.
You will evolve if you allow it.
The things that hold you back from being the best version of you are all the negative beliefs you have around what you aren’t.
Who cares what you aren’t.
You have a lifetime of conditioning and unconscious patterns that are at play. The way to act your best self is to constantly approach how you move through the world with an awakened mind. Letting go of the things, voices, beliefs, and ideas that hold you back will help you clear out the dust so you can see where you want to go and what you want to create, and that is what matters the most.
You can only do your best. If you value this growth, you will be your best.
I have just given you three great tips on how to act your best. Do you want to be the best version of yourself? I would love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below.
Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates instructor, and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening—empowering her clients to heal not only their physical bodies but their hearts and minds as well. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
*Image courtesy of deeplifequotes.