“The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don’t want.”
We all have an IT. The IT (internal turmoil) is an event that could have happened twenty years ago or yesterday. It’s that event that always seems to be with you, whether consciously or unconsciously. The one that keeps popping up out of nowhere. The one that you think about when you wake up in the middle of the night.
Why did this happen?
Why did IT happen to me?
What did I do to cause IT?
How can I get rid of IT?
And that one big IT will create many smaller ITs that will affect your relationships and your daily interactions.
My IT is childhood sexual abuse. An obviously traumatic event which I went on to create a lot of smaller ITs out of.
What I found is that the more I tried to resist the IT, the more I was ensnared by IT.
My IT that came out of this event is that I’m unworthy. My Unworthy Story (a.k.a. IT) comes up at the most unlikely times.
Like when I stopped by my girlfriend’s house to pick up my daughter, and her husband left the room while she and I were chatting. I immediately decided (subconsciously) that I was intruding; he didn’t want me there. And why shouldn’t he feel that way? I’m not worthy of being wanted. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that he just arrived home from work and may or may not have had a bad day.
Then there was the time I had the opportunity to submit a post to my favorite blog, Positively Positive. I sent in a request and didn’t get a response in my expected time frame. Why? Because I’m not worthy. Again, I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that this is a very popular blog that receives hundreds of submissions every day. Instead, I received a lovely email from the owner of the site apologizing for not responding sooner. The rest of the story is, well, you’re reading it…
If I were to listen to my IT, I would miss out on relationships and opportunities. Opportunities that have been life changing for me. And all I had to do to experience them was pause, breathe, and let it go.
Our IT creates these crazy stories to protect us from more pain. We hear these stories in our heads so many times that they become fact.
Our IT has taught us to withhold, hide, cover up, run from, and avoid any situation that the unconscious mind thinks may end in a similar result. Think about it: If your IT happened when you were a child and you are now an adult, you and your IT are making decisions based on an event that happened when you were a child.
An IT and a child may, in fact, be running your life!
I can tell you from the trenches of grappling with letting IT bother me versus letting IT go that once I found a way to release the pain and anger, a whole new world opened up.
For years, I was told that I would never get passed my IT unless I forgave my abusers. Screw that! Why should I let them off the hook? (My go-to response before I changed the subject.) Why? Because my IT was slowly killing me. For years, I confused forgiveness with letting go. I will not lie and tell you that I’m evolved enough to forgive the men who abused me as a child. I simply cannot use that word for them. From my perspective, if I forgive them, they are off the hook (admittedly, a childish perspective, but nobody’s perfect).
Yet when my IT rears its ugly head and I let IT go, I am worthy.
In 2006, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, Lockey Maisonneuve underwent chemotherapy, bi-lateral mastectomies with saline implant reconstruction, and radiation. During this time, she saw a real need for recovering cancer patients to exercise—not just for the physical rehabilitation, but also the mental aspect of regaining control over their bodies. After completing specialized training through the Cancer Exercise Training Institute, Lockey created MovingOn, a rehabilitative exercise program for cancer patients. Lockey and the MovingOn program have been featured on WABC, WCBS, News 12, WKTU, Overlook View, Shape, Park Place, and The Patch. For more on Lockey, visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
*Image courtesy of ★ Plateada.January 19, 2014