What if they leave me? They did; I survived. What if they hurt me? They did; I survived. What if I get cancer? I did, I survived. What if I fail? I did; I survived. What if they laugh at me? They have. Their opinion of me is none of my business.
Seriously, what do I have to lose? Nothing, so I’m going for it.
I’ve experienced pain and suffering on many levels. For me the key to getting past the pain was learning to trust and be vulnerable (I still have a love/hate relationship with both.)
But man oh man, experiencing that was raw. That “Oh My God I can’t believe I just shared that” feeling is, for me, the equivalent of jumping out of an airplane. And don’t even get me started on “trusting people.” Based on childhood experiences, I created a story that trust = violence. If you trust them, they will hurt you. You can imagine as an adult how this effected inter-personal relationships. It wasn’t until I became an observer of my life that I learned the real power behind sharing and trusting. Because I believe, we can not truly let anything go until we share it, in a journal or with other people.
An example: Go find a rock. A big one – it has to be at least 25 lbs. The rock represents your secrets. Hold on to the rock, don’t put it down. Notice how in every conversation either you talk about the rock, or you avoid talking about the rock. But it’s there. You have to explain why you are carrying the rock. You have to endure being teased about carrying the rock. Your body hurts from carrying the rock. Until you put that rock down, you can not authentically be present with anyone. It’s your secrets that are holding you back.
You can’t simultaneously hide a secret and be authentically present in the moment. @lockeym
(Click to Tweet!)
Once you put your stuff out there, it can’t run you anymore. All that monkey mind stuff like “what will they think, if they only knew, I’m not worthy” just sort of goes away. Before you know it, you are a blank canvas. You can paint your life’s picture in any way that inspires you. You can powerfully step in to your higher self.
Believe me, I’m no expert at this. I make mistakes, I’m judgmental, sarcastic, I curse too much, when I’m angry I often lash out without any thought about the consequence of the effect my words will have on the person they are directed toward. Occasionally, I even eat red meat and white carbs.
Being truly authentic lies in owning my imperfections.
I’m not going to lie and say I can 100% change these things, nor do I want to. Some times, I like my sarcasm and every time I am about to judge, or lash out, I’m provided with the opportunity to choose how I will react. Sometimes I’m a jerk and sometimes I am my higher self. Either way, I accept who I am.
So if you really want to live authentically: Let Go of your secrets.
Here’s how: Make a list of your secrets. While you are writing out your secrets, jot down any thoughts, judgements, considerations you have about these secrets. (In other words, write down everything your monkey mind tells you.) Choose whether or not you will write about these secrets in a journal or share them with someone. Then do it. Start with the small ones, did you gossip about someone you love? Did you lie? Write it out and/or share it. Either way, you will be releasing it from your soul. I don’t know of any better diet in the world.
Then Inhale, exhale and step in to living your higher self.
In 2006, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, Lockey Maisonneuve underwent chemotherapy, bi-lateral mastectomies with saline implant reconstruction, and radiation. During this time, she saw a real need for recovering cancer patients to exercise—not just for the physical rehabilitation, but also the mental aspect of regaining control over their bodies. After completing specialized training through the Cancer Exercise Training Institute, Lockey created MovingOn, a rehabilitative exercise program for cancer patients. Lockey and the MovingOn program have been featured on WABC, WCBS, News 12, WKTU, Overlook View, Shape, Origin, Yoga, Mantra and Health Park Place, and The Patch. For more on Lockey, visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.