About three years ago I met the love of my life. We were madly and passionately in love. Poems, talking on the phone for hours, laughing uncontrollably. We were head over heels. We spoke without words and laughed without jokes.
We had created this life full of adventure, possibility, and love, but deep within my gut after a couple of months passed by was a simultaneous truth. The other truth was that his past was not fully closed to enjoy our present. I didn’t want to accept that reality. I wanted to ignore it and enjoy my bliss. But that gut feeling wouldn’t go away.
Day by day, I began to not be able to ignore this constant feeling that he was not telling me something. And then the day came. He had lied and he had been withholding information. My trust was broken. I felt betrayed and it hurt. It hurt bad.
I can’t say I was shocked because my gut knew, but I wanted to be pleasantly surprised, and be shown otherwise. Sometimes you are and sometimes you aren’t. In this case, my lesson was to learn to trust my gut.
Beyond the moment of pain there is a deeper lesson waiting to be uncovered – behind every painful moment is a treasure waiting for you.
My treasure? It was the ability to know that I am safe and okay on my own. I had a deep fear of not being able to be independent. It was covered up with the love we had, but truly, I wasn’t able to leave because I was scared to be fully on my own. Once I left, I didn’t die. In fact I thrived! I served bigger, I loved myself deeper and lived life with even more purpose. Miracles happened.
The truth is betrayal hurts. We have all gone through a moment where a person we love lies or hurts us or let’s us down. Maybe a parent promised you that they would take you to get ice cream when you were little and they never did. Maybe a friend told a secret she swore not to say. Or your romantic partner promised to be there by your side and be honest no matter what, and he/she lied. It happens. We are humans.
But my favorite part of being human is the amount of massive resilience we have. Forgiveness and willingness are the two tools if want you to call upon to trust again.
Remember, allowing yourself to trust again is a gift you give yourself. @CosmicChristine
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Remember these keys when you’ve lost the ability to trust:
Be willing to trust again.
Allow others to earn your trust.
Listen to your gut.
Forgive for the gift you gift yourself – peace.
Be open and be willing for there are miracles waiting for you.
Trust is worth fighting for. Don’t give up. For love is a warrior’s battle and worth the fight.
What are your tips and wisdom around trusting again? Would love to hear in the comments below.
Christine Gutierrez is a psychotherapist, advice columnist, speaker, author, poet, and founder of CosmicLife.com, an online hub that features psychologically-savvy and soulful advice, articles, videos, private consultations, workshops, retreats (both live and virtual), radio appearances, and television projects. “Ancient wisdom with a modern twist” is the motto. She has been featured in TimeOut NY Magazine, Latina Magazine as “The Future 15: The Healer,” Yahoo Health, Ebony Magazine, Cosmopolitan for Latinas, The Conversation, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Ricki Lake, Lifetime TV, and more. You can also follow Christine on Twitter and Facebook.
Image courtesy of Brandon Warren.