It was one of those days in the Hobson household – chaotic, distracted. I was completely consumed by the work I was doing. Madeline was running around the house like a crazy person, but I was only aware of the occasional streak of arms and legs as she ran past me. So, I didn’t notice when Madeline opened the front door by herself and went outside to play. I only noticed when it got quiet.
I freaked – I tore around the house frantically screaming her name. I finally found her outside, playing with her toys in the backyard. I was so relieved to find her, I scooped her up and held her so tight, she said she couldn’t breathe. I thought I had lost her.
A day later, I learned that a colleague and friend had lost her little girl that day. Last Saturday, her little girl was swept away in Boulder Creek when the truck she was riding in swerved to avoid another vehicle that was stopped in the road for a bear crossing the road.
I was devastated. Devastated for her. I could not even imagine something like this happening. The grief is beyond words.
What do I say to make her feel better? What could I possibly do that would take the pain away from such a horrific tragedy? In a moment of grief, you have this desire – this NEED – to help somehow, to contribute and fix it. You want to help, to make it better, to put everything back the way it was. But there is no going back. There is nothing you can do. I felt so powerless to help her. The best you can do is be available for that person whenever they need you and know that you can’t fix it. All I wanted to do was run home and curl up with my daughter.
You also realize, while you’re watching a mother living the agony of losing her daughter, that everything you are, everything you have, can change in an instant. How do you wake up the next morning, and every morning after that? How do you keep going? Friends, family, the community – this is where the strength to keep going lies. She will need us all in the coming months to get through this.
Normally, I would write one of my blogs filled with tips about eating healthy, exercise, creating balance, and then I would ask you to share your comments on my Facebook page.
Today, I’m going to tell you to close your computer and go spend time with the ones you love. @hayleyhobson (Click to Tweet!)
If you’re a parent, get up right now and go play with your kids. Call your mom, call your friends, and tell them how much you love and appreciate them. Whatever you do, don’t let another moment pass without telling the people who are important to you that they are loved. You never know when it will be the last thing they hear.
Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates instructor, and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening—empowering her clients to heal not only their physical bodies but their hearts and minds as well. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.