Its no secret, we live in a “now” generation. We’re in an era where anyone can film a video of themselves singing, upload it to YouTube, and become the worlds biggest pop star. We’re in a time where someone can write a blog post and end up as a guest on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. Any day could literally change the rest of your life. I know this sounds a bit cliche but, possibilities are indeed endless.
However, with limitless opportunities and abundant resources, not to mention more millionaires today than ever before in American history, there seems to be something that we as a society have been unable to leave behind — the fear of being wrong.
It’s as if being wrong means losing something more than the magnified sense of personal prominence, something which should be of minimal importance for a humble soul. In fact, most of the arguments we’re involved in on a regular basis are of menial value and have no long term negative or positive implications, yet we are fixated on the idea that being wrong is the most unfavorable result to any debate.
Some of our most common arguments often involve work, money, bills, bad drivers, religion, entertainment and food. But more often than not, none of these arguments are actually as bad as we claim them to be. Nonetheless, they still end up becoming emotional battles of frustration and futile attempts to sway another person’s opinion or point of view.
What led me to draw upon the idea of being wrong as a topic of discussion, was a recent disagreement I had with someone very dear to my heart. Throughout the course of the feud there were things said that shouldn’t have been said, and reactions to comments that were unwarranted and contrary to who we had become.
The biggest problem of all was that no matter what was said, neither one of us wanted to admit that we were wrong.
The actual details of what created this disagreement are of less importance than the resulting complication that arose from it. Fact is, I wanted to believe that my reaction was justified based on my perception of what had been done to me. Conversely, the other party felt as though their actions were warranted because of how I responded to a question they asked.
Either way, we were caught up in the who’s right and who’s wrong component of the situation.
When the dust settled and I had time to reflect on what had happened, I ended up offering my sincerest apologies. I admitted that I overreacted a bit, and my hope was to move forward despite the emotional anguish that had already been established. What started out as a fun filled weekend full of restaurant hopping, juice bar discoveries and yoga classes, ended up in a bitter argument, emotional turmoil, and utter disappointment.
I wanted nothing more than to forget about everything that took place. I recognized the role I played, and was appalled that I allowed myself to contribute to an aimless dispute that carried on longer than it should have.
I remember having issues with anger during my teenage years, generally finding it difficult to distinguish one emotion from the other. During moments of sorrow, I was often reminded to “stop crying, stand tall and be strong.” But to me, being strong at that time meant becoming combative. If I ever felt attacked, I immediately became defensive.
My aggressive nature was initially a defense mechanism intended to shield myself from exposing my vulnerabilities and hide my pain. Unfortunately it evolved into a part of my adapted behavior. As an adult, I look back and can see how weak I truly was.
Nevertheless, that incident led me to question the contentious concept behind being wrong and why we are so opposed to accepting it. Is being wrong really that bad? Is it worth hurting someone else just so you don’t have to admit fault? In my opinion, being wrong simply provides a learning opportunity. How else are we expected to acquire wisdom if we’re never mistaken?
Whether you’re actually wrong or just accepting the inaccuracy of your own outlook, if it means preserving the feelings of someone else, we should accept it.
We need to stop identifying erroneous opinions as an adverse effect. The arguments associated with establishing favorable merit within oneself, also creates fault in others. In my opinion, that’s what causes the most resistive ramifications, wouldn’t you agree?
We’re all imperfect beings filled with flaws and imperfections, therefore we shouldn’t wish to highlight the weaknesses of others at the expense of denying our own.
If someone is unwilling to accept an alternative viewpoint, whether they agree or disagree, so be it. The emotional demand and physiological reactions connected to arguing isn’t worth the energy it takes to engage in battle. When it’s all said and done, what’s really to gain? An advance in personal pride and self sufficiency (notice the sarcasm)?
If the conversation doesn’t breed positivity, it serves no purpose. You only have control over your thoughts and your actions. Since you can’t always change the people surrounding you, change the people that surround you. If you chose not to change them, change your reaction to them.
Remember, it’s impossible to teach a person anything, if they feel they know everything.
Stay humble and don’t be afraid of being wrong, it could change your life! @quentinvennie
(Click to Tweet!)
Quentin Vennie is a New York City-based Wellness Guide. He is regarded as a wellness expert who believes how the body feels and looks externally is a direct reflection of what is happening internally. With that in mind, he always addresses the obstacles happening inside the body, allowing the external changes to occur as a direct result. He continues to transform lives by advising his clients and sharing his life changing experiences with juicing, yoga, meditation and fitness that helped him overcome addiction, anxiety, depression and become migraine free. You can find more information on Quentinvennie.com and follow him on Twitter.
Image courtesy of Allison Marchant.