Dear Positively Positive tribe,
I just led a writing retreat in Ojai, California with author Lidia Yuknavitch and it was everything! Writing retreats are my favorite. I hope you will join me one day soon – you do not have to have any yoga OR writing experience. Just be a human. Seriously. That’s it.
My friend Annie Sertich was there. She wrote the following and I wanted to share it with you guys as I think it’s a terribly important message. Please pass along and share with all women you know! See you soon in Atlanta then NYC! I’m a traveling’ fiend!!
So, this is what Annie said:
I’ve been so inspired by #thisgirlcan (an ad in Britain to get chicks active age fourteen-forty).
A few months ago, a bestie Mindy Sterling (actor from Austin Powers), and I were shopping at the Promenade in Santa Monica, California. We went into Joe’s jeans.
A sweet, cute, twenty-something girl greeted us. We smiled back. Then after about fifteen seconds she said to me, and only me… ’Just so you know we have more sizes in the back.’
“Huh?” I said.
“We have bigger sizes in the back.’ She sweetly said.
**And this is NOT a post fishing for anything other than I needed to share how bummed this made me for women/girls eating gum for dinner. Plus really Joe’s? LAME.
I went on.
‘So if I want to try this cropped sweatshirt here in a Large, I have to flag you down and get it from the back?’ (Like the brand doesn’t want anyone to know, God forbid it fits someone with tits/shoulders/or sometimes eats too much in front of bad tv?)
‘Sorry,’ she went on to say, ‘It’s store policy. We are like a boutique. We just put out a few of each item.’
‘In ONLY size xs, s, and a few mediums’ I ask. Oh, is it because of space? Right Joe’s. Tell yourself whatever you need to tell yourself. So you wanna make me feel like a hassle. I can’t just fit in like the small’s.
“There ARE a couple of larges on the floor’ and she waved at a tee-shirt stack and a candle. (Okay, maybe not a candle, but you get it).
Today I watched the emaciated anorexic women weigh herself at my Fancy Gym like she does every day. And the mean stink face woman work out for hours and hours who can’t crack a smile. She might catch my jiggle.
I got sad for women.
Is it my fault I went into a high end boutique that doesn’t fit my body type? Maybe.
Is that what I get for shopping with a tiny pint-sized funny fairy like Mindy then I look like her troll-sized body guard? Maybe.
Or should I just hate myself because I don’t have space between my thighs. Yep. I should.
I don’t know. The last time I checked my man didn’t even care what brand my jeans were as long as I was…
Like a bad audition you do later in your car, here’s my ‘car version’ of what I would have said to sweet Joe’s sales girl:
- What size you think my heart is?
- What about the naturally thin girls who just have long legs or long torsos and need a ‘bigger’ size?
- My super-sized big ginormous ass held me up when I had to walk behind my father’s casket.
- My large shoulders were a good place for some friends to cry on of late.
- Do you live in a hole and not see young girls get bullied for their size?
- And come on. Don’t you think I would have figured out that you didn’t have my size? Like, I see my body everyday! DUH! Did you have to ‘politely’ remind me? Don’t hide behind ‘store policy.’ Make a stand. Don’t work there.
- If there is a curvy brand for your jeans, don’t you think I would have found them on the floor without sweet sales girl reminding me they might exist somewhere behind the magical Fat Oz doors?
On their website it says…’Joe’s is best known for pioneering the concept of fits catered to specific body types.’ Specific, I guess, means not me.
Your store policy sucks. Put all the sizes out. Or put all the sizes in the back.
Or don’t and just keep on making girls feel shitty for being born with a body.
*Please leave your comments below letting us know any experiences you have had with feeling body shamed. We want to know! Please share! #effyourbeautystandards
I will see you next week (Feb 14th) in London! Followed by NYC, Princeton, Atlanta, Philly (April), Dallas, Chicago etc. All workshops listed here. I am also doing my annual retreat to Kripalu in The Berkshires of Massachusetts in Feb as well as two (Two!) Tuscany retreats in 2015, which are both almost full. My retreats/workshops are Not your typical yoga thing-a-majigs. They combine yoga and writing and you do not have to have any yoga experience. Just be a human being with a body. But mostly with a heart! Read this to “get it. All info here or email firstname.lastname@example.org. Make sure when we meet you tell me that you are from The Positively Positive tribe! xoxo Love you guys! Come hang with me on instagram at @jenpastiloff as that is where I am most days!
Jen leads retreats that are a combo of yoga/writing and for ALL levels. Read this post to understand. Check out manifestationyoga.com for all retreat listings and workshops to attend one in a city near you (Dallas, Miami, South Vancouver, NYC & London are next). Jen is the guest speaker 3 times a year at Canyon Ranch and leads an annual retreat to Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health every February, as well as an annual invite only retreat to Tuscany. She is the founder of the popular The Manifest-Station website. Jen is leading Other Voices Querétaro in Mexico with authors Gina Frangello, Emily Rapp, Stacy Berlein, and Rob Roberge in May . Follow her on Instagram and Twitter. You can also find her at BeautyHunting.com.
Image courtesy of simplereminders.com