Unfortunately I am at an age now where more and more of my friends have started to lose their parents. Lately a few of my friends have shared their stories of how their parents transitioned from life to death, some going in and out of consciousness as they transitioned out. One nurses told my friend that the spirit leaves before the physical body does. It reminded me so much of my work as a doula—on the other side of life, at birth. I studied with a healer who once told me,:

“The doorway we go out is the same doorway we come in.” @ROOTEDFORLIFE (Click to Tweet!)

For many people, the moment of a natural death can be blissful. There are accounts of people smiling or reaching upwards. Some might even speak about the love or joy they feel. Babies do the same thing as they transition to life, except their spirit transitions into their body instead of out. Coming into the body can be traumatic. For nine full months a baby develops in the protective and peaceful sanctuary within a woman’s womb. I often think of birth like a spaceship returning to Earth. After floating around in space, it goes through tons of turbulence as it enters the atmosphere and then—BOOM!—hits gravity and splashes down dramatically.

Imprinting at birth is so important. All animals imprint with their babies—whether it’s a baby bird locking eyes with its mother, a lamb hearing its mother’s loud “baaa,” or a lioness licking her cubs, animals imprint through all five senses. As humans, we can do the same with our own senses immediately after birth. This is your child’s first experience in the world, and where they first determine if this world is a safe place to be.In my new book, The Mindful Mom-to-Be, (Rodale, August 2015) I write about a few ways you can pave the way for a smoother landing on Earth and help your baby transition peacefully into the world.

Here are tips on how to imprint with your baby using your senses.

If, for some reason, there are complications post-birth and you can’t be with your child right away, your partner is the next best thing and can step in to connect with the baby. When you are able, practice these as soon as you can.

Hold your baby. Often called “skin to skin,” this is the practice of holding your baby close to your chest. Babies thrive best when they are returned to their natural habitat. They know your energy, smell, voice,and heartbeat. Feeling close to you helps them feel safe as they transition into this world. I suggest doing skin to skin (kissing, holding, touching) with your baby often as possible post-birth, and in the days,weeks, and months that follow. Skin-to-skin contact helps stabilize baby’s body temperature and heart rate, normalizes baby’s breathing patterns and lowers the levels of stress hormones. The baby is also exposed to natural bacteria from the mother, which helps prevent her from getting sick. Skin to skin also encourages babies to latch right away and feed longer, making breastfeeding easier. If the mother is unavailable, your partner’s chest is the next best place for your baby to be and if for some reason you can’t be with your child right away post birth try and do as soon as you can.

Look into your baby’s eyes. If the eyes are the window to the soul, this is an incredible opportunity to see your newborn clearly. Not only will it allow you to really see the depths of their soul, it helps facilitate intimacy, bonding, and the entire imprinting process.

Use your voice. Your voice (and your partner’s) will already be familiar to your child, since they can start to hear outside sounds starting at the fifth month of pregnancy and recognize sounds around the seventh month. When you speak lovingly to your baby in person, it helps comfort them outside the womb

Smell your baby’s head. The top of your baby’s releases love pheromones to help initiate the bonding process. If you have pets or other children, make sure they can also sniff the baby’s head to lock in this imprint. After the baby is born, have someone bring the baby’s first hat back to your pet to smell before bringing baby home. This way the baby’s scent will be known and something your pet will already find pleasant.

In the weeks following birth, your baby will still be transitioning. It’s important to carve out space in your life for this magical, sacred post-partum time (a special time you will never have again!) to recover from your pregnancy and childbirth, really lock in this bond of attachment, and take the time to get to know this beautiful child of yours.


Lori Bregman is a renowned doula, life coach, healer and author of, The Mindful Mom to Be. As a birth doula, life/ fertility/pregnancy / new mom coach and healer, Lori has over 14 years of experience. What makes her unique is her innate ability to blend her spiritual coaching, years of healing and intuition that is integrated into her Doula practice. She is the founder of the Rooted for Life Pregnancy Coaching Program, a complete mind, body and spirit support system that helps women throughout fertility, pregnancy and birth as they transition into new motherhood. Find her at InstagramTwitter and Facebook.

Image courtesy of Bady Qb.