This past weekend I got to hang out with one of my new mentors, Connie Podesta, who is a keynote speaker who combines her background as a therapist and stand-up comedian to teach people about relationships. I adore her and soaked up her wisdom and laughed all weekend.
One of the things she talked about, that I want to share with you because it is also something I see so often with my clients and retreat participants is how much we fight for our limitations.
What does this mean? Well, when people first come to me for guidance, they mention what they want but they spend a lot more time and energy telling me why they cannot have it or what is in their way. Of course
knowing our roadblocks is part of getting clear but our attachment to our roadblocks actually blocks our progress.
Now you may be thinking, “I am certainly not attached to my roadblocks, I want them gone!” Believe me, I believe that you want them gone but in order to remove them you must stop fighting for your limitations. I’ll explain more in today’s vlog so be sure to watch.
We all create a story about ourselves and the way life works based on past experiences. And usually parts of this story are pretty negative. Common self-defeating and deflating limiting beliefs include: “I do not
belong, I am not enough, life is hard, people are not trustworthy, bad things happen to me, everyone else is better, something is wrong with me, I am not deserving, I should be doing more, men leave me, I need to make others happy, love is painful, etc.”
Then, we go out and collect evidence that supports our story. For instance, if you believe that bad stuff happens to you or life is hard, you will use everything from a parking ticket to losing a job as evidence to reinforce this limiting (and untrue!) story.
Why do we fight so hard to fight for a story we don’t want to tell anymore? Yes, things have happened in your life that have been hard but if you continue to use them as an excuse to why you do not have what you want, you are living those hard experiences over and over again.
You are not your story. Your past is not your identity. Please stop fighting for your limitations!
Please stop coming up with all the reasons you cannot afford something. Or do not have a great relationship. Or are stuck in a job you don’t like. Or whatever else you are convincing yourself is unchangeable.
I understand that sometimes there are circumstances that can make it seem like we do not have choices about certain things. But this is not true. Even if you cannot change an external circumstance (right now), you
ALWAYS have a choice about how you perceive and respond to it.
So today and every day, you have a choice: keep fighting for your limitations or stand up for what you want in life… which will it be?
Please comment below and share your choice with me – I am standing up for your freedom from anything that is holding you back!!
p.s. I have a new podcast where I coach people LIVE on the air. Head over to Over it and On With It and listen in for inspiration and action steps.
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
Image courtesy of PublicDomainPictures.