“Choose being kind over being right, and you’ll be right every time.” Richard Carlson
I’ll admit that I have liked to be right. Actually it’s more accurate to say that my ego has liked to be right. Has yours? It’s okay to admit it. There is a sense of satisfaction and gratification that we get when perceived as right. Our egos feel validated, which is great if we want to live our lives chasing after egoic highs. But I have a feeling you’d much rather chase after heart highs that last, wouldn’t you?
If you answered YES, you have got to totally give up any desire to be right.
I had an opportunity to practice this last week after I received an email from a friend that I judged as rather reactive and rude. My choice was not to respond at all. Why dignify it with a response? (Do you hear the righteousness?). A few days later I did respond and shared I did not feel comfortable engaging with my friend. To that I received another email in which he went into a lot explanation of his experience of the situation and how he perceived my actions. My ego was tempted to justify, defend, explain myself…in other words be “right.”
Instead I stopped and asked myself, “Would I rather be right or be loving?”
That question totally shifted my energy from my ego to my heart. I was able read between the lines of my friend’s email and see that he, like ALL of us, just desires to be understood and loved. It was clear to me that I was no more right than he was – we were both just hurt. Moving into further justification or explanation would have exacerbated the situation and gotten us into a tit for tat type of argument. Ever been in one of those? They are no fun and completely unproductive!
When I surrendered my desire to be right or have my point and actions understood, I was able to respond in a loving way, apologize for my end of things, and create a more loving space for both of us to step into. And it feels so much better to feel loving toward my friend than it does to be right!!
Trust me, being right is highly over-rated. Being loving is where it’s at. @ChristinHassler (Click to Tweet!)
I encourage you to look at areas in your life where you are attached to being right. Where are you holding grudges in relationships? Who are you outsourcing your energy to because you are waiting for them to see things from your perspective? What are you obsessing about because you feel wronged? How are you blocking love from your life by your ego’s desire to prove something?
Choosing love over being right is your key to freedom. Now that doesn’t mean you allow people to walk all over you and have no boundaries in your life. It is possible to be loving AND be clear in your communication with others. But once you express yourself, let it go. Don’t wait to be free inside until you are acknowledged for being right.
When you get off your position, you create possibilities for miracles.
When you let go of the need to be right and hang on to your core essence of being love, you experience freedom.
When you stop caring whether anyone else understands your point of view, you will understand yourself and others even more.
When you fall in love with forgiveness and out of lust with righteousness, you will experience heart highs (which are so much better than ego highs!).
Let yourself and anyone else off the hook. Your attachment to your position or story is not serving you. We are all doing the very best we can in every moment. Remember that. Even the people you judged as wrong are doing the best they can. Uplevel your best today by surrendering any desire to be right. Be happy and free instead.
Love,
Christine
P.S. I have a new podcast where I coach people LIVE on the air. Head over to Over it and On With It and listen in for inspiration and action steps.
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
Image courtesy of geralt.
