Life condenses at this time of year as we try to fit all things ‘holiday’ into our already chaotic lives. We cook and clean ahead of family gatherings and parties. We shuttle kids to performance rehearsals and attend recitals. Small business owners like me are creating that end of year magic, working overtime through big sales while getting every Loonie (and Dollar!) accounted for, hoping that we can take a few days off when it’s over to be with our loved ones.
The extra busy is overwhelming, and self-care becomes a luxury that gets sacrificed when the going gets tough. The healthy routines we’ve spent all year teaching ourselves slide to the bottom of our priorities. Healthy diets go to hell, we don’t sleep enough, drink enough water or get enough exercise. We’re trying to do it all and we get frustrated with the circumstances and people around us because we feel like we just can’t and it is everybody else’s fault. I think it’s because we are horrible about prioritizing our lives.
Have you heard of the priority jar?
It’s Dr. Stephen Covey’s story about a professor who illustrated priorities and time using a jar, a bunch of rocks, pebbles, some sand, and water. Perhaps you’re familiar? I’ll summarize:
Fill a mason jar with big rocks – you’ve fit all the rocks you can in the jar, and you consider it filled. But when you try to add pebbles, you find there’s room between the rocks. There is also room for sand, and still more for water. Now, imagine that the rocks, pebbles, sand and water are your to do list. Great mental imagery, but how do you apply it to your life?
Do you have a to do list? If not, write one. Figure out your rocks – your non-negotiables. Your business, your family? Next, your pebbles – stuff that’s still important but not life or death. Grocery shopping? Keeping your business Facebook page updated? What are your sand and water? Baking cookies, making that new casserole you saw on Pinterest for your neighborhood party, making sure the hand towels in your bathroom match? Just so we’re clear – exercise and eating right are NOT sand and water. They are rocks, or at least pebbles. You really need them to keep up with the other rocks, pebbles, sand and water.. RIGHT?
Is it possible that you’re filling your jar with water first and drowning instead of taking care of your rocks? It is amazing what is achievable when you change your mindset.
Figure out your REAL priorities and get creative about the negotiables. @MarissaHeisel (Click to Tweet!)
If you’re a wayward shopper that goes numb the second you enter the grocery store or shopping mall, write a list and STICK TO IT! Get the family involved in cleaning and cooking. Do you really have to make that Pinterest casserole? Your friends won’t judge you for showing up with store-bought cookies (and if they do, maybe you need to rethink that friendship)!
And for goodness sake, if you’re in a relationship, date nights and sex are ROCKS!! We all know that letting couple time drop off your list when life gets busy will detrimentally affect your relationship.
Most importantly, stop shaming yourself for not doing it all. Wonder Woman is a fictional character and even she doesn’t do it all. Put a little thought behind your to do lists, prioritize, get creative about how to achieve them and stop beating yourself up if you fall short of the unrealistic expectations that no one but you has of you. Everyone around you will thank you for it.
Just ask yourself at the end of the day, do you want to be known for the relationships you have with people or that you baked the perfect shortbread?
Dr. Marissa Heisel is a Holistic Chiropractor with a background in midwifery. She is passionate about women’s & children’s health, teaching people to take control of their own well-being, and empowering themselves in every aspect of their lives. She is the co-owner of Transformational Essentials, and Spines & Minds Transformational Health in Hanover, Ontario, and a founder of doTERRA Canada.
Image courtesy of Pezibear.
