Rejection can really be a bummer. Whether it hits you in your professional or personal life, feeling like you weren’t the “chosen one” brings up a lot of crummy feelings and limiting beliefs about worthiness. But the truth is that rejection is totally just an illusion. It’s not real at all. What you may be thinking is rejection from someone else is actually just perceived rejection.
Perhaps you’ve heard the phrase, “Rejection is God’s protection.” Consider that not being with the person you desire in the moment, not getting the job you want right now, or not having the situations you think will make you happy is a necessary part of the journey toward the person, job or situation that is the most in alignment with what is best for you.
Reframe rejection as protection, and know that nothing is ever being taken away; instead potential obstacles are being removed. The answer to your prayers is not “no”; it’s “not now, not yet, or just not this one.” Trust that God has your back.
Until you surrender to that Truth, the one obstacle God cannot protect you from is yourself. You are probably your own worst enemy when you believe you have been rejected. You take it personally and make not getting what you want mean something about your worth or desirability. Perceived rejection feels like a huge punch in the gut and negative self-talk flares up so much so that you put yourself in a contracted state. So then not only are you feeling rejected, but you are rejecting yourself by buying into irrational beliefs like “I’m not good enough, I did something wrong, If only I had done xyz differently,” and on so on. And those beliefs create a self-deprecating energy around you. Ew! Who wants that?
So if you are feeling rejected in some way it is high time to get your acceptance mojo going again!! Extract the lessons you can learn from the situation. Seize the opportunity to take a GIANT leap on your personal growth path by not allowing external conditions to determine your internal conditions.
I think we can all agree that acceptance feels a heck of a lot better than rejection and it would be great if we never had to experience the feeling of being “not chosen.” However, it is part of EVERYONE’s human experience. Rejection is especially triggering and therefore illuminates our misunderstandings about not being good enough or worthy in some way. These misunderstandings are biggies and our Higher Self really wants to get rid of them. So although our ego despises rejection, our soul welcomes it because it is one way we are motivated to look at core misunderstandings that are holding us back.
For example, a client of mine was recently “dumped” by a man she fell head over heels in love with. The pain of the rejection was the catalyst for her to finally address the ways in which she consistently rejected herself by always being extremely self-critical. Once she saw that she had believed she could never be good enough in her own eyes, she was able to connect the dots to how that played out in life as not being good enough for anyone else. The light bulb went on and for the first time in her life, she began to feel the relief of self-acceptance. She is beginning to truly see herself as worthy, whole and complete, which in her words, “Is worth the price of rejection!”
The other huge lesson that comes from perceived rejection is not taking things personally. Our ego is the one that gets triggered by rejection so it’s extremely important to keep your ego in check by not making things all about you all the time! It’s not your fault!! There’s nothing wrong with you!! Sometimes we are not a match for a certain person or job. People are on different timelines, looking for different things, and there are a million other variables that play into why we don’t always get what we want.
Your job is not to analyze why but rather to remind yourself of your inherent worthiness. Rest in the knowing that everything is working out for your highest good.
Remember, rejection is just an illusion. The reality is that you are 100% lovable just the way you are.
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
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