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I want you to ask yourself something: Are you genuinely happy? Take a moment to honestly think about that. Have you genuinely found happiness in life?

If your answer is no, or even maybe, let’s talk about the reasons why you aren’t happy, and the mistakes you might be making unknowingly that are costing you happiness.

1) You Haven’t Transformed Your Inner Critic into Your Inner Coach

The first mistake you might be making that is costing you your happiness is that you haven’t successfully transformed your inner critic into your inner coach.

Research indicates that, on average, people talk to themselves about 50,000 times a day. Unfortunately, most of that self-talk is about yourself, and according to the psychological researchers, it is about 80% negative.

Some examples of this might be:

  • “I shouldn’t have said that.”
  • “I don’t like the way my hair looks today.”
  • “I’ll never lose weight.”
  • “I can never seem to get organized.”

… and the list goes on.

We know from this research that these thoughts have a powerful effect on us. Our negative thoughts actually control our behavior.

The first thing you have to do if you want to find happiness in life, is put a muzzle on that inner critic and transform it into an encouraging, loving, and positive inner coach.

One of the most powerful exercises for retraining your inner critic is to teach it to tell you the total truth. Just like your parents disciplined you for your own good, your inner critic really has your best interests in mind when it is criticizing you. It wants you to get the benefit of the better behavior. The problem is that it tells you only part of the truth.

Whenever you hear a part of you judging yourself, simply reply,

“Thank you for caring. What is your fear? What specifically do you want me to do? How will this serve me? and Thank you.”

Do not let the seeming simplicity of this technique fool you. It is very powerful if you use it.

2) You’re Letting Your Limiting Beliefs Control You

Another mistake you might unknowingly be making and therefore sabotaging your own happiness is allowing yourself to be controlled by your limiting beliefs.

Many of us have beliefs that limit our success — whether they are beliefs about our own capabilities, beliefs about what it takes to succeed, or even beliefs about how we should relate with other people.

Moving beyond your limiting beliefs is a critical step toward becoming happier and more successful. @JackCanfield (Click to Tweet!)

Learn How to Find Happiness in Life in 4 Steps

To do this, you must first believe that you are capable of accomplishing your goals and that you are capable of being happy.

Here is a simple but powerful four-step process you can use to transform any limiting belief into an empowering belief:

Step 1: Identify a limiting belief that you want to change.

Step 2: Determine how that belief limits you.

Step 3: Decide how you would rather be, act, or feel. And…

Step 4: Create a turnaround statement that affirms or gives you permission to be, act, or feel this new way.

For example, a negative belief might be: “If I express my true feelings, people will think I’m weak and take advantage of me.”

The turnaround belief would then be:

“The more I express my true feelings, the more people love, respect, and support me.”

Once you have created a new belief, you will need to implant it into your subconscious mind through constant repetition for two or three minutes several times a day for a minimum of thirty days.

In conclusion, keeping these two possible mistakes in mind (listening to your inner critic without retraining it to be your inner coach and letting yourself be controlled by your unconscious limiting beliefs). Make a list of any beliefs that might be limiting you and follow the steps outlined above.


As the beloved originator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, Jack Canfield fostered the emergence of inspirational anthologies as a genre—and watched it grow to a billion dollar market. As the driving force behind the development and delivery of over 100 million books sold through the Chicken Soup for the Soul® franchise, Jack Canfield is uniquely qualified to talk about success. Jack is America’s #1 Success Coach and wrote the life-changing book The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be and Jack speaks around the world on this subject. Check out his newest book The 30-Day Sobriety Solution: How to Cut Back or Quit Drinking in the Privacy of Your Own Home. Follow Jack at www.jackcanfield.com and sign up for his free resources today!

Image courtesy of Allef Vinicius.

March 8, 2017