When you first start dating someone it pays to be mindful of their behavior. Pay attention to how they interact with you and others. Are they really listening to what you’re saying or do they consistently seem to be looking for a way to bring the conversation back to themselves? Is their tone condescending or dismissive? And perhaps the most revealing tell of all is how they treat a waitress or cab driver. (My mom was a waitress so anyone who was rude to service industry folks, was OUT!)

Dating is tricky business. But you can avoid wasting your time on an incompatible partner by being aware of warning signs that are revealed early on. You can get a decent indication of a person from communication style even before you meet.

Clear, concise and consistent communication is good. @terri_cole (Click to Tweet!)

Erratic, inappropriate or inconsistent communication might be a red flag indicating ambivalence in their feelings towards you or about intimacy altogether (which has nothing to do with you). As humans, we are constantly sharing information about ourselves with our behavior regardless of what words we are using. Words and actions being aligned is a good sign of a person’s ability to follow through. Be aware if a potential partner’s words indicate one thing but their behavior reveals an entirely different agenda. This is a big, fat red flag!

Another important red flag to pay attention to is if the person you’re dating is trying to change you. If he/she wishes you were more of something or different than how you are, they may never accept you and you could spend a lifetime feeling unworthy or “wrong” for simply being yourself.

If you are actively dating or are about to dive back in, please check out this week’s Real Love Revolution video, where I cover:

  • How to Be Mindful When Dating
  • 11 Red Flags to Dating (And How to Spot Them Early On)
  • Why You Should Follow Your Gut Instinct
  • How to Hold Out for the Right Relationship


For an array of reasons, it can be tempting to overlook these warning signs in a new relationship. It feels good to be wanted and to have a special person in your life. But those good feelings can quickly turn painful if you are mismatched. The truth is, you know when someone is talking down to you or wants to change you. Go with your gut. Use this list to be on the lookout for red flags while dating, and download the 11 Red Flags to Dating Cheat Sheet, to use as a reference. Time is precious, my friends. Please don’t ignore what you know to be true simply because you want to be in a relationship. The truth is that you want to be in a vibrant, healthy, resilient relationship with massive potential, not one that is going to suck up a few more years of your youth and beauty only to end anyway. Use this video, blog and cheat sheet to intentionally attract and nurture Real Love!

Click here to watch this video now!

Drop me a comment here on the blog and let me know what resonated with you after watching this video. Then head over to my YouTube Channel and SUBSCRIBE for free access to every Real Love Revolution vid! Join the conversation with #RealLoveRevolution on social media and share the love!

Thanks for watching, reading and sharing!

And as always, take care of YOU.

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. Sign up for Terri’s weekly Newsletter, check out her blog and follow her on Twitter.

Image courtesy of Evan Kirby.