I am who I am because of the choices I made yesterday. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Life, as we know, can be full of struggle. It is my belief that is why we have been given this earthly experience. To struggle no, but through struggle to grow. However, because we are here to learn does not mean those lessons are easy. The other day my third-grade daughter was struggling with having to go to weekly learning support. Like most children diagnosed with ADD and dyslexia knowing you are super smart and needing help to foster that intelligence can be incredibly humbling and frustrating. I can try to rationalize and inspire her with stories of all the successful people with those conditions: Justin Timberlake, Kiera Knightley, Ryan Gossling, Richard Branson, Picasso, Jim Carey, Will Smith, and on.  But in third grade being pulled out of class for extra help frankly feels embarrassing. And I began to think about my own daily struggles. Realizing of course that these “problems” are the very definition of first world issues, they are none-the-less upsetting and can really bring out the best or the worst in me. Usually the latter.

Perhaps because my father just died I began to think from the end of my life until the present. I worked it backward. I started to think if this day, or this week, or this particular hardship were a chapter in a book written on me once I died what would it say? In this chapter would I lay down and give up when faced with an unexpected financial blow?  Would I cry and shut down rather than try to work on my marriage? Would I not follow my dream because the path got too hard? Would I allow the voice in my head to stop me from what I really want to do? Would I be afraid to make a change because I didn’t know the outcome? Would I just eat more food because “hell I already feel chubby so what’s the use”? Would I freak out at my kids because I am having a bad day rather than taking a breath and seeing a calmer way?

One of my favorite quotes by Sister Joan Chittister is “We are neither expanding or collapsing at all times.” This is so powerful and really resonates with me.

The gift I have, and if you are reading this you have too, is that we are here TODAY. 

I am not dead and I have a body and mind that still work brilliantly (sometimes, many times, not so brilliantly). What do you have? If not a perfectly functioning body, what do you have to offer? What are your blessings? What can you share and how can you grow?  Maybe just that shift in perspective will make all the difference.

“If you have life, you have purpose” –Caroline Myss via @Stephanie_boye (Click to Tweet!)

I don’t want the book that is written about me to show I gave up. I ask myself, “what the hell kind of book would that be???” I want to tell the story of how I showed up every day. I decided to live each struggle as if it were an inspiring chapter in a book.  And I asked my daughter to do the same. The end is nowhere in sight and this struggle will launch you into the next challenge, stronger. This is YOUR chapter, YOUR moment to show the stuff of which you are made. Write a chapter each day that shows you lived, you learned, you struggled and you triumphed. Do not let this moment define your destiny, let it define and illuminate your character. And if today falls short of your intentions…

“Give yourself permission to start over without judgment or harshness.” – Alex Elle

Stephanie Boye is a mom, an entrepreneur, a creative, and most importantly a seeker. She founded the chic maternity line Chiarakruza. She and her husband started a boutique photo studio in Philadelphia, Tyler Boye Photography.

Image courtesy of negativespace.co.