“Quiet is the new loud.” ~ Patrick Stump
Ironic, isn’t it?
That every time you need your confidence, it’s too nervous to show up!
That’s not the way it’s supposed to work at all.
Your confidence is supposed to wade in and bail you out in awkward and embarrassing situations.
To make you feel secure that it’s got your back.
To assure you that you’re in control.
Not to go AWOL and leave you feeling like the nervous kid on the playground.
And what makes it worse is that some people’s confidence just turns up on cue. It loyally pitches in and lets them walk tall, talk loud and hold center stage.
While you’re lucky if your confidence grabs a seat in the back row once in a while.
What’s wrong with you?
I fought against my natural quietness for over 30 years.
Oh boy, was that exhausting. I was forever beating myself up over all the louder, more confident characteristics I thought I should have.
I wore myself out trying to be someone else – someone more confident, more sociable, more ‘interesting’.
Trying to be what I thought was normal.
I thought I was weird. Really weird. I honestly believed there was something wrong with me.
And so did my friends and family.
I can totally see why others were confused. Why they thought me shy, awkward. Dull even.
Now I don’t pretend.
I have great friends. They ‘get’ me. They have a good handle on ‘quiet’.
Some of them are quiet too, although most aren’t. It doesn’t matter either way, we all get along just great.
And you know what?
I now get ‘loud’.
I understand my friends who crave noise and busy and chatter and partying. The ones whose confidence loves the whole world looking – and talking – at them.
And they get me. You see…
I’m not shy. I’m quiet.
I’m not nervous of attention. I just don’t have to be the center of it.
And I’m not lacking in confidence. I’m just confidently quiet.
In fact, I have great confidence that shows up when it should and has my back.
But no matter how hard I holler for it, if I’m trying to be ‘loud’, it doesn’t pitch up.
My confidence has made it clear: if I fake it, I can make it… on my own.
So what’s wrong with you?
In fact, there’s everything right with you…
Why Quiet is the new loud
Quiet has a confidence all of its own that no one has ever told you about.
And the truth is…a lot of ‘loud’ people secretly admire that inner confidence.
They may not say so, because they seem happy being loud. But some people who are loud, aren’t.
You see, just like you and me they are shown a world where loud rules. And quiet keeps…quiet. And so they try and follow convention.
And end up with the worst of both worlds.
But times are changing.
As the world gets noisier and more crowded, some smart people are beginning to see a trend emerging.
Just as the age of the nerd was followed by the age of the geek, the age of the loud is being overtaken by the age of the quiet.
Who was quoted as the richest man in the world for years?
Bill Gates. He’s a pretty quiet man.
And all those loud, brash ‘make a million by the time I’m out of diapers’ types can’t touch him.
So if you want to be a millionaire, get loud. If you want to be a billionaire, maybe you should learn quiet.
And if money isn’t your thing, Gandhi was a pretty ‘quiet’ guy. And the Dalai Lama. Two of the most respected people in the last 100 years.
Being ‘quiet’ might just be the greatest gift for true confidence that you could have asked for.
OK, here are 9 reasons why rather than shunning your ‘quietness’ and scaring your natural confidence away, you should embrace it:
9 Reasons ‘Loud’ People Admire ‘Quiet’ People
1.They see you as someone who is confident enough not to crave everyone’s attention.
Someone who doesn’t need to be center stage, who doesn’t have to be the life and soul of the party. Someone self-assured enough to leave the limelight to others.
2. They see you as someone who is confident enough to listen.
Someone who, rather than nervously chattering on and on, listens first. Someone who, when they do speak, has something worth listening to.
3. They see you as someone confident enough to stand out from the crowd.
Ironically, your very quietness marks you out in a crowd. It marks you out as someone who doesn’t have to go with the herd for fear of getting it wrong.
4. They see you as someone self-assured enough to enjoy your own company.
Someone who doesn’t need the constant company of others to drown out the anxieties that would otherwise fill their head. Because you are fine alone with your thoughts.
5. They see you as someone confident enough to say no.
Someone who chooses not to go to every event, preferring your own activities sometimes. Having the courage to say ‘no’, however you say it is a challenge many people never accomplish for fear of upsetting others.
6. They see you as someone who knows your own mind.
Someone who doesn’t need to be seen at all the right places all the time. Someone who doesn’t run themselves ragged trying to be the ‘flavor of the month.’
7. They see you as someone confident enough to walk your own path.
Someone who does their own thing regardless of whether it’s the ‘in thing’. Someone who doesn’t need to be accepted as part of the cool gang.
8. They see you as someone confident enough to have just a few, close friends.
Someone who is happy with a small band of loyal buddies. Someone who doesn’t need a room’s worth of people to reassure that their lovable.
9. They see you as someone confident enough to be self-reliant.
Someone who gets on with life, quietly. Someone who makes their own decisions. Someone who trusts their intuition rather than a group of people who don’t know you even a tenth as well as you do.
It was there all along
It’s ironic isn’t it?
That all the while you’ve been trying to coax your confidence out of the shadows others have been admiring it. Admiring it for the strong, ever-present force they’ve recognized it to be.
And quietly wishing they had it too.
Sure there will still be nerve-wracking situations. Oh boy, will you feel out of your depth occasionally.
But take a deep breath, be yourself and your inner confidence will get your back.
Because you can be quietly confident that quiet confidence is up to the job.
Because quiet’s time has come.
Quiet is the new loud.
Laura Tong, a former health professional, is on a mission to help you become the most positive, happy version of yourself. Grab her free cheat sheet: 5 Guilt Free Ways To Say No Without Offending Anyone (Even If You Hate Conflict). Laura also hosts the Re-write The Rules In Your Life interview series where she shares awesome happiness and positivity tips from experts around the world. Click here to listen free to the latest episodes.
Image courtesy of thamyuanyuan.