Have you ever felt terribly alone in this world? Does it happen when you most need to feel love in your life? We are actually a tribal species, seeking security among a group of people. Community matters and maybe even more so than it ever has before.
So many of us are away from our family and people aren’t getting married anymore. We are having less kids and it’s more challenging to connect face to face because of social media.
I was going through life as a lone wolf for quite some time. Sure, I had a boyfriend and I lived in his country with him. I was a foreigner and I didn’t know the language. There were times when he would give me the silent treatment for weeks at a time. This was the loneliest time in my life but I got really used to managing time with myself.
Leaving the Loneliness
My soul forced me to make a change in my life. As the years progressed, my relationship became more toxic. I put all my eggs in one basket with my international relationship. This was killing my spirit and I felt like he was trying to pin me down to the ground.
I was like a bird in a cage. Not loved where I was but with no specified direction. He was violent to me in public and this is when I knew I had to plan my escape so to speak. It took a few months to make enough money to get the flight back to Canada. I didn’t really know what I was going to do back home but I knew that the most important part was to leave where I was.
A Safe Place for a Little While
Maybe the reason I have taken great risks in my life was because I knew I had a wonderful family. My sister and her husband welcomed me into their home with open arms. I had planned to spend a few weeks there while I figured my life out. I was going to travel off to S.E. Asia or somewhere warm where I didn’t have to face my pain.
I enjoyed being with my sister because she’s actually a healer of many deities. She made me laugh every day and she reminds me so much of my mom, who died in past recent years. Many people are drawn to her healing capabilities and I’m so lucky to have her as my sister and friend.
Life Had a Different Plan for Me
I was still talking to my ex-boyfriend because for me to leave in peace, I implied that him and I would be together again. He needed to have a lot of control and if he didn’t, he would get really angry. He’d been physically abuse with me before and that caused me to feel pretty afraid of him.
So we talked and through it, he wasn’t feeling well. He finally went to the doctor only to find out he was terminally ill with cancer. The cancer was everywhere and the prognosis was a few months to live. He told me he needed me to come back or he would surely give up and die. Can you imagine what it felt like to have to choose yourself or the wish of a dying man who abused you?
I was tortured and confused for many months. My sister stood by whatever decision I made but sometimes I suspect she sent me energy to give me strength to finally make the choice that was right for me.
I didn’t go back there, back to the darkness. I opted to live my life for me finally. This felt selfish and wrong but the pull to take care of myself first this time was so great. In the end, he didn’t live for much longer. It was truly a tragic time but I was constantly surrounded with a higher source that offered me love and spaciousness to feel what needed to be felt.
Why My Community Gave Me the Strength
My sister is a yoga instructor, a healer, and my inspiration. She always made me feel loved. She took the time to listen to me when my heart was breaking. She made me a part of her life which included a lovely circle of people in her life.
Without the community of people backing me up, I surely would have gone back to my ex-boyfriend. I would not have had the strength to stand alone while he lay dying. I would have had no direction. The community of wonderful spiritual people that my sister is a part of gave me the legs to stand deeply rooted in my undeniable truth.
This experience of spiritual community has given me the depth in my own soul to pursue dreams in a way I haven’t before. I felt more confident to shine as the person I was and trusted that I could feel security within myself.
Benefits of Finding Your Tribe
It happened almost immediately. The feeling that I was home and that I had found a place I could let go of all my defenses. Being able to do that through the help of my sister allowed me to see the truth of the situation. I was able to safely heal my heart wounds. I can understand why yoga retreats are particularly appealing to people. You already have a common bond with others.
You feel safe and protected among like-minded people. Some of them have similar needs to your own. Some have gone through similar battles and most are very open hearted. It makes for lasting relationships. Here are some of the benefits you can expect when you find your tribe.
You Push Your Own Boundaries Because You Feel Supported
It may be that you’ve never felt fully supported or maybe it’s just been awhile. The community that cares will help you with whatever goals you’re looking to achieve. Maybe even more importantly, you can help others.
This might be something as simple as encouragement or just talking it through can be helpful. However the support materializes, you are not alone. United, we are more powerful.
You Have People to Share Your Joy With
When you can laugh with others, you produce even more endorphins. When we’re alone, we usually watch a funny movie to get to a higher vibration. When you spend time with people and have good relationships with them, you can laugh your hearts out.
You may experience a day of beauty together or a break-through moment in a spiritual journey. Being a part of each other’s joy feels much better than having a special moment with nobody to share it with.
You Develop a Better Relationship with Yourself
When you find a community of people you feel a sense of belonging to, it allows you to be yourself. You let go of false pretenses and learn to express your true self. This is the result of having support and feeling safe and protected.
When you can be yourself, you can bring the relationship to yourself into better balance. You may be surprised when you let go of tension, have a rejuvenating cry for no reason at all, or want to give yourself a hug. Being true to who you are takes courage but a good support system can allow you to do this in a very natural way.
You Get to Help Others
The community you become a part of will surely help you through difficult circumstance in life. It is also an opportunity for you to open your heart to those who really deserve it. Being able to help people brings an immeasurable feeling into your life. Until you’ve made somebody’s life better through your actions, you can’t imagine how fulfilling it is. When you have a community of people in your life, there are endless opportunities to make their day by helping out.
Your Heart Opens Up
When our hearts are closed, we have very little energy. We feel lost and uncertain about life. When you have all the benefits of being around like-minded people, the heart opens and all of those feelings quickly diminish. You learn to trust people because they don’t let you down. You can feel something changing in the body and in your mind as your heart becomes more open. Once you experience this feeling, you can use it as a navigation tool for your life. If you start to feel lethargic, go back to basics and do things to conjure up the heart opening that gave you joy.
A healthy community can help you to form a relationship with your inner self once again. @Loraine68699394 (Click to Tweet!)
Your intuition becomes loud enough that you can hear it and you don’t deviate from its knowing.
There are many ways to come into a community. It could be anything from joining a book club to taking yoga teacher training. There are many circles of wonderful people that are waiting for you to join them.
There are sacred retreats that are designed for healing, bringing you close to people very quickly. These leaps of faith into humanity will develop your soul and give you the kind of love in your heart you may have been living without for a long time.
I had seen pictures of the shining faces from my sister’s spiritual retreats and wondered why people were so happy.
Now I understand.
Nicole Aracki is a spiritual jill of all trades. For two decades, she has made yoga a part of her life. She brings her experience and love through ebooks, online courses, retreats around Beautiful British Columbia and yoga classes in Kamloops. Soul Change is the manifestation of years of work and dedication to spiritual practices like Reiki, crystal healing, and yoga/meditation.
Loraine Couturier is the creative content manager for Soul Change. She is a freelance writer working with companies that promote spirituality and love. It is her desire to make life-changing practices accessible to those who seek it. She is a lover of kundalini yoga, writing on spirituality while traveling the world.
Image courtesy of rawpixel.com.