Many women are starting to feel that they need to transform their lives. They want to be genuinely fulfilled and happy – not to display it to others – but for themselves.
They know their lives have a deeper meaning, but they feel stuck and trapped in between the two worlds. The world of what they should and what they truly want.
I started to hear the call in 2011, and since then my life has changed upside down. A couple of times. Before my transformation began, I was controlled by fears, unable to express what I wanted and needed because I wanted to be “a good girl” and was afraid of “punishment.’’
I was in a relationship and studied the wrong major out of fear. The worse part was that I’ve always felt my inner guidance, but I was paralyzed by fear of punishment for choosing what I love.
It took many years and lessons to walk through my life transformation, and I’d love you to feel my support and guidance on your journey. Therefore, I want to walk you through six stages of life transformation that I’m sure many of you have been going through.
1. Cry for help.
In the first stage, we realize that we miss something precious. Our lives seem to be dull and empty. We lack a deeper sense of meaning.
The most common question is: “Is this all? Was I born to live like this?”
By asking ourselves these questions over again, we activate a new power in our lives that carries the answer. So, we step into the next phase.
The cry for help has been answered. For each of us, the initiation takes a different form. For me, the moment of initiation was 3rd of March 2011. I can never forget that day as my whole life was shaken and then shattered into pieces.
I kept asking myself whether I was born to grow old by the man by my side with whom I spent six long years. Whenever I imagined our future, I couldn’t breathe. The heaviness was all over my chest.
That March day, I met a man who I connected with at such a deep level that I couldn’t comprehend back then. And I realized that I didn’t know what love was before meeting him.
In this new light, I could see all the ways I was restricting myself out of fear. As a result, I understood that I studied a wrong major in fear of losing the approval of my parents. A close family member got cancer, and my beloved dog died.
I broke up with my boyfriend. As much as we felt love for each other, we’ve never ended up together. It all happened within a few short months.
The initiation is like seeing the world for the first time. Something or someone takes you out of the long slumber.
Some are initiated through illness, a death of a close family member, love, or losing money. But the commonplace is the experience of something deeply moving and touching that changes us forever.
3. A personal hell.
This phase is replaced by what I call personal hell. If the initiation happened through love, it would be removed from us. If it was through a tough situation, it gets worse.
We hit bottom. Emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
In this stage, all patterns and conditioning that we’ve received from family and society come to the surface. The inner fear-based voice gets louder and stronger. The pain can go to the tolerance limits. One more drop and we collapse.
Often, no one understands the depths of our pain. It’s no surprise that many people get lost in the third phase. Thus, prolonging this stage more than necessary.
Yet, we can feel in our hearts that there is a different way to live. This weak inner voice gives us the strength to continue.
4. Unstable hope.
The moment we surrender we enter the fourth stage. Surrendering is the smartest decision we can make. As our old way of thinking can only take us where we’d already been. We need to give up the need to know our next steps.
When we surrender, we find inner peace, and we begin to hear our inner voice. Suddenly, we don’t feel so lost anymore.
Sometimes, we’re flying, and we feel like there are no problems at all. But these moments are replaced by falling back into the dark valleys of fear and lack of faith.
I entered this stage when I moved to China for two years. After months of praying and doing a lot of inner healing work, I surrendered while sitting in a park one afternoon. Tears were dripping down my face.
I said this: “I don’t know if you can hear me (my soul) but I really don’t know how to continue. I surrender everything. I run out of options and ideas of what to do. Please, guide me. I don’t care where you take me, I’ll follow you.”
And then I started to feel strong guidance that told me to change everything and leave many people I knew. I heard the guidance to step into my life purpose.
5. Finding our new strong self.
We still have fears, but we don’t give them such power over us as we used to. Our inner guidance communicates what our life purpose is.
It may feel scary and too big to follow so we have to adjust to that idea alone first. We may not share it with anyone yet, and that’s good. The seed needs to grow.
During this phase, the inner guidance becomes a bit weaker, so we have time to rest and build the foundations.
6. Stepping into inner power.
During the last stage, we take responsibility for the impact of our thoughts and decisions. We understand that we create our reality and the impact we have on others.
We’re able to catch ourselves before we go into an argument or want to act out of the old pattern.
Metaphorically we sit on the throne in our kingdom. We rule our world and understand that our inner power comes from the spirit (higher self, god) and we have it for a reason – to create a better world for us and others.
I’d love to hear from you; Which stage are you in? What have been the most powerful lessons that you’ve learned so far?
Let us know in the comments below.
Sylvia Salow is a motivational public speaker, an intuitive life coach, and an author of two books. In her work, she encourages people to unlock their potential and let go of their fears and emotional pain that stops them from creating the life they desire. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
Image courtesy of ThePixelman.