Secrets are toxic. I’m not talking about the sacred things we keep to ourselves or hold in confidence when others have confided in us.
I am talking about the kind of secrets we . . .
Keep inside because we are ashamed.
Hide because we are so afraid to tell anyone for fear of what they’d think.
Or carry around like a heavy weight for years because we believe that the secret is so awful we deserve the burden of punishment.
We harshly judge these kinds of secrets so we keep them in the dark. But the only way we can truly be liberated from the shame, judgment, and burden of keeping secrets is to bring them into the light. I share a story about keeping secrets in today’s vlog.
At one of my retreats in Tulum, Mexico, the most powerful part of the week was creating a safe container to unburden secrets. In the space of compassion, each woman revealed something she has kept hidden. I was touched by their courage as they shared things that were incredibly difficult to share. Yet on the other side of that temporary difficulty, I witnessed tremendous relief. Their faces softened. Their energy got brighter. They liberated themselves by bringing what was in the dark into the light
Today I am encouraging you to liberate yourself by bringing what you’ve judged as dark into the light. Secrets are not safe when they have shame attached to them.
So how do you free yourself from the burden of secrets? Here are a few things to consider:
- Keeping something inside because of shame, guilt or judgment is toxic because it fuels a belief that you are bad, unworthy, undeserving, dirty, broken, or tainted. Because of these limiting beliefs, the secret becomes an incredible energetic block and weighs you down.
- We heal shame by bringing what we have kept in the dark into the light. We do this by sharing or revealing something with vulnerability. Vulnerability means we share without any story or justification or explanation or defense. We allow ourselves to simply be witnessed.
- When sharing a secret, pick someone to share it with that can hold a space of compassion. Sharing tender things from your life must be received with TLC so chose someone who you trust can hold a space of love and compassion for you. The world does not need to know your secret to be free of it. Simply sharing it with just one person is deeply healing.
- Request that you simply be seen and heard. Ask for only encouragement and compassion rather than any kind of pity or advice.
- Keep in mind you are most likely judging yourself more than anyone than any loved one would (like the story I shared in today’s vlog). The stories we make up in our head about what we are scared to talk about are way worse than reality.
We all have things we have kept inside because we believe it is “safer.” But in order to experience true freedom and forgiveness, we must liberate ourselves from the burden of shame. @ChristinHassler (Click to Tweet!)
My prayer is that today’s message will empower you to unburden yourself from a secret that has been weighing you down. Maybe it’ something that happened. Or something you did. Or a big-scary-deep-down-afraid-to-say-it-out-loud fear. Whatever it is, know that you deserve freedom from it.
If you do not feel like there is anyone you can share with, I will be the person who holds the space for you to share. You can email me personally at email@example.com and I will receive your sharing with compassion.
With tremendous love,
P.S. I have a new podcast where I coach people LIVE on the air. Head over to Over it and On With It and listen in for inspiration and action steps
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
Image courtesy of Olichel.