“She has Alzheimer’s.”
Silence.
My heart dropped.
The death sentence.
Me and my wife had $5 to our name in that moment.
I recall staring at the cleaning ladies at our hostel in Laos. I knew they had more money than us.
Why was my world collapsing?
I had overcome being $70,000 in debt, bankruptcy and depression to reach this moment.
Only to lose all my money again and find out my mom would slowly be ravaged by a savage illness, robbing her of memory, dignity and life.
Life Happens For You Not To You
Fast forward six years.
I am living my dreams.
My wife and I have built thriving online businesses, freeing ourselves of financial worry as we circle the globe.
I am a predominantly happy dude despite conditions. Sure I have down moments but I feel love, harmony and happiness surrounds me despite anything that happens.
I am living my dream life.
How?
I embraced the idea that life happens for you.
Not to you.
Feeling despair and clinging to it instantly victimizes you. As is life becomes a combatant, trying like hell to beat you into submission.
After I overcame daunting obstacles to circle the globe I seemed to get hit in the gut by the one-two punch of financial ruin and suffering through the shock of my mom’s Alzheimer’s prognosis.
But neither circumstance happened to me.
Both experiences happened for me.
Going from despair to living your dreams shows that every moment is a vehicle for your advancement and for humanity’s advancement.
We’re all spirits in meat suits; learning, growing, operating from an energy of love, learning to face, embrace and release the illusion of fear, accepting the truth that all happens for us.
Vehicle for Advancement
Going broke happened for me.
Having just $5 alerted me to the litany of money limiting beliefs I clung to.
Fear fed each constricting limiting belief.
I struggled financially not because of conditions. My inner world simply reflected back to me through circumstances.
Having no money mirrored back to me how I feared, in my energy, that I was terrified to run out of money.
I slowly, patiently and steadily faced, embraced and felt the fear to dissolve money blocks. As I felt and released these limiting beliefs during highly unpleasant but incredibly freeing sessions I began to:
- Feel happier
- Act inspired more frequently
- Attract money making ideas
- Render generous service without looking for anything in return
- Align with prospering, happy bloggers who helped me grow my business
- Attract more money
It was a bumpy ride for a few years. I resisted my money fears terribly. But I eventually hugged these energies, felt the fear and cleared my predominant terror of money loss to allow in prosperity and to be happier.
My Mom
Having the woman who brought you into this world diagnosed with a terminal illness floors you.
I cried, cried and cried some more in that Laos hostel. For my dad, for my sisters and for my mom, and for me too.
The only way I got through it and feel predominantly happy today despite mom being hospice is by accepting the feelings that arose when I sad about her diagnosis.
Heartache happens for you to clear many of your fears so you may shine more brightly for humanity, including your family and friends. @RyanBiddulph (Click to Tweet!)
Here in Thailand I see Buddhist monks live a life of acceptance, peace and happiness. Observing their non-resistance, going within through meditation and understanding how fighting or burying the energies – as we often do in the West – makes the bad feelings expand inspired me to feel the fear, pain, grief and anger triggered by mom’s diagnosis.
Sometimes I cried for a half hour until I nearly threw up. Other times I punched pillows so hard I thought I’d break my hand. At other times I felt a state of melancholy for a few days.
I let go deep, paralyzing fears. So I could live from an energy of love and fun.
The haze began to clear by realizing my mom’s illness is her experience, happening for her spirit and for all of our spirits.
I would love having the same funny, loving, fiery Elke more than anything. But I accepted her experience and more importantly I predominantly accepted the wide-range of heavy, fearful energies triggered by initial diagnosis.
I am a happy guy.
My mom is in hospice close to home, surrounded by loving, caring staff.
My dad visits her daily, showing love and devotion, not being too invested in this world and its cares but knowing mom’s spirit is here and will live on forever.
All despair, heartache and devastation happens for us, to show us the fear we need to clear to be happy, healthy and prospering.
Practical Tips
- Meditate daily to expand your awareness; accept triggered feelings by being aware of these feelings
- Surround yourself with loving, caring human beings who remind you to be gentle with yourself
- Get therapy or speak regularly about your despair to wise people; I share my feelings with my wife Kelli who’s a life coach and old soul
- After you begin to clear heavy fears feeding your despair move into inspired action on exciting hunches, ideas or other dream seeds
You don’t have to live in despair anymore.
Sprint toward your dreams by hugging your fears.
Life doesn’t happen to you.
Life happens for you.
Ryan Biddulph is a blogger, author and world traveler who’s been featured on Richard Branson’s Virgin Blog, Forbes, Fox News, Entrepreneur, Positively Positive, Life Hack, John Chow Dot Com and Neil Patel Dot Com. He has written and self-published 126 bite-sized eBooks on Amazon. Ryan can help you build a successful blog at Blogging From Paradise.
Image courtesy of 12019.
