My stomach rose into my throat.
I walked on a swing bridge high above roaring rapids at Mount Cook, New Zealand recently. Heights scare me. Bouncing up and down on a swing bridge scares me even more.
My mind demanded I turn around. But my heart knew it was time to make best friends with a long resisted fear.
I carefully walked across the swing bridge twice even though I felt terrified to do so.
(My wife Kelli snapped a candid shot of me as I exited the bridge, my face showing one part anguish and one part relief)
Routinely befriending fear helped me leave behind my pier guard job to become an island hopping, professional blogger.
Making fear your best buddy helps you:
- break the chains of your limiting beliefs
- rend the veils of illusion that cripple much of humanity
- inspire people to conquer their fears
- live your wildest dreams
Befriending fear makes you limitless but only if you honestly admit your fears. @RyanBiddulph (Click to Tweet!)
Own Your Fears
For years I clung to an intense fear of losing money. Like a fool I chose not to admit this pulsating fear in my being.
The Universe gladly goaded me to drink truth serum by allowing me to lose all of my money until I owned, faced, embraced and released this terror.
Sometimes you find fear. Other times fear finds you. You choose either to own or deny fears but eventually you need to face your deepest fears to be happy, healthy and prospering, for fear is the only energy that prevents you from living your dreams.
Where to Befriend Fears
Your fears await you outside of your comfort zone.
Think of the last time you did something genuinely uncomfortable. How did the experience feel to you? Did you feel embarrassed, ashamed, angry or worried? Good. Feeling these emotions indicates you’re setting up a rendezvous with your fears.
A miserable single person may fear rejection. Disgruntled employees fear failing at an entrepreneurial venture. Entrepreneurs may fear success for the increased responsibility that comes as your presence expands.
Set up a meeting place for befriending your fears by listing a few highly uncomfortable experiences from your life. Toss in those fears you’re acutely aware of like a fear of heights, a fear of criticism or a general fear of failing.
How to Befriend Fears
Gently befriend fears. Don’t come on too strong. Unless you genuinely hug and embrace your fears these energies will avoid you, forever bedeviling you and ruining your life.
Befriend fears like you’d slowly, patiently and calmly build a long term friendship. Gradually wade into your fears to become intimate with these energies. Baby step your way into fears to fully hug, feel and release these energies for good.
I did not walk across the swing bridge on my hands while looking down at the ground some 20 meters below. I nervously but patiently and deliberately crossed the bridge one scary step at a time, looking up toward the mountains, breathing deeply to embrace both my fear of heights and my intense discomfort of a bouncing, jostling bridge.
By the time I reached solid land I felt invincible.
You will feel more fearless by deciding to befriend your fears versus avoiding these destructive, limiting energies.
Tips for Befriending Your Fears
- list three to five of your deepest fears
- gently and tenderly wade into one deep fear at a time; be patient and loving with yourself but be firm in embracing the fear, no matter how terrifying it feels
- forgive yourself if you make an excuse to avoid befriending your fear; try again tomorrow
- surround yourself with happy, successful people who routinely leave their comfort zone to give yourself an inspirational nudge to befriend your fears
Are you routinely befriending your fears?
What tips can you share for making best buddies with your fears?
Ryan Biddulph is a blogger, author and world traveler who’s been featured on Richard Branson’s Virgin Blog, Forbes, Fox News, Entrepreneur, Positively Positive, Life Hack, John Chow Dot Com and Neil Patel Dot Com. He has written and self-published 126 bite-sized eBooks on Amazon. Ryan can help you build a successful blog at Blogging From Paradise.
Image courtesy of Jeff Nissen.