Now that we’ve discussed falling in love you and creating more pleasure in your life, you are ready to move into attracting the right relationship into your life.

How Can You FEARLESSLY Attract Healthy Love?

Why does finding love seem simple for some and impossible for others? Is love only for the lucky? Is it really about being in the right place at the right time or is there something more to it?

Actually, there is plenty more to it. How we view romantic love and our own lovability has everything to do with what we learned growing up. Every family has their own cultural norms around love and marriage. I call these belief systems Downloaded Blueprints. Someone else designed them, perhaps generations ago, and they have been systematically reinforced for years, becoming your reality.

In order to understand the effect your downloaded LOVE blueprint is having on your romantic life, you must get conscious of what limiting beliefs your blueprint contains—how your current mental state is structured.

Take a Love Assessment

Answering these questions will illuminate your relationship patterns, self-regard, and limiting beliefs about love.

A re-design is not only possible but completely doable! However, it is only possible once you know what the original looks like.

1. What was your family culture about love and marriage?

2. Were your parents divorced?

3. Who had the “power” in the relationship?

4. As a child, did you feel loved and valued?

5. How did your parents regard each other?

6. What experiences from your own past romantic relationships impact your current blueprint?

7. Was there verbal and/or physical affection in your home?

8. Was there verbal and/or physical violence in your home?

9. How many people in your family have good marriages?

10. Was marriage held in high esteem in your childhood home?

11. Were people free to express their feelings?

Allow yourself to take the time and space to think back to the way it was. By accessing the real memories, the blueprint you have been rocking will come into sharp focus. Once you have a clearer vision of your limiting beliefs, you can start to draw up a newly remodeled blueprint.

Create a Vibration of Love

Journal the kind of love you want to draw into your life. Include in your journal entry how you would like the relationship to be and how you want to feel. Take time to read what you wrote and feel the feelings of having that experience.

In order to draw the love you seek into your life, you MUST be able to visualize and feel the experience. Since we are all made up of energy, when you feel the love you want, your energetic vibration is raised. This higher vibration will draw like love energy to you. The opposite is also true: If you stay in a place of feeling lack and focus on what you do not have, that vibration will draw more lack. So decide what you want to create and then make decisions in line with that goal.

Unresolved feelings and injuries from childhood impact our romantic pattern of behavior. People generally talk or act them out, especially in romantic relationships. If your parents fought frequently or there was violence, you learned at an early age that love is painful, and so you will seek and find relationships that are painful or violent.

You have the power to change dysfunctional relationship patterns.

I hope this inspires you to embrace being the architect of all of your love experiences. It is completely possible to build self-love and awareness that leads to the romantic love that thrills you. You are worth it. You deserve it. Now do the work to create it. As always, I will be cheering you on like a wild maniac!

Share your love (and lust) thoughts and questions below. Let’s start an honest dialogue and build the LOVE house of our dreams.

Love Love Love


Terri Cole, founder and CEO of Live Fearless and Free, is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. A cornerstone of Terri’s practice, meditation, was the impetus for her recently released guided mediation CD Meditation Transformation. In Fall 2012, she will begin hosting a Hay House radio show, giving listeners who are swimming upstream easy tools to flip over and float. Terri can be found on her websiteFacebook, and Twitter.

*Photo by nettsu.