You know those mornings when you wake up and your hair looks out of control? Or you feel guilty about those nachos you ate the night before? Or all those Christmas cookies you ate? But then, after a good workout, a nice hot shower, and you’re favorite jeans, you feel a whole lot better about yourself?

Or maybe it happens after a well-deserved haircut. Or pedicure. You know what I mean. It’s almost like you slip in and out of being sexy.

It’s just a fact: The sexier you feel, the more confident you are. And the more confident you are, the better your relationships go. Hell, your love life is probably better, too.

But “sexy” is a relative term. No, relative isn’t quite the right word. “Sexy” is a self-defined word. You get to say what “sexy” means for you.

Sexy is a state of mind, a way of being. Sexy is not a bra size or a make-up treatment.
@HayleyHobson (Click to Tweet!)

Sexy isn’t limited to Victoria’s Secret models on the fashion runway or women in lingerie. You don’t have to be what others describe as a “knock out” to be sexy. Sexy is a feeling, one that screams: I am a confident woman who feels good in her own skin.

I didn’t always feel good in my own skin. As a kid, I was skinny. My jeans never fit. I had glasses, braces, frizzy hair, and a flat chest until I was sixteen.

Then my parents took me on vacation to visit our relatives in France. The French must teach the art of sexy to their kids in the first grade. The language is sexy. The culture is sexy. And they don’t even know it. They’re all just sexy.

So what is it that makes someone sexy, and how can you get some of your sexy back?



Ask yourself what it means to you. What do YOU find sexy? Is it the way someone smiles? The look in their eyes? Their sense of humor?

I think confidence is sexy.

I think fashion is sexy.

I think men’s legs with nice long fit calves are sexy.

So what makes that spark jump out at you?


Sexy is like a burning fire. If you don’t tend to the fire, it is going to burn out. You don’t want to be left with ashes, so create space and time in your life for sexy things.

If getting your nails done makes you feel sexier, schedule a mani/pedi. If getting a bikini wax makes you feel sexy, find the time for that now. If a certain outfit makes you feel sexier or more confident, then go for it!

Definitely don’t give up.

You don’t have to be super thin or super beautiful to be sexy. You simply have to cultivate the feeling. And when you have it, we’ll all see you wearing it. I promise.  


It seems like a no brainer, but if you take care of your body, you will feel sexier. It doesn’t take much. One hour a day, five days a week. Just schedule it and don’t make excuses.

A small amount of effort will help you with your self-esteem, help you feel more confident, and definitely make you feel sexier!


If you like lingerie, buy it. If you like sexy cocktail dresses, wear them. If you want to wear a Brazilian cut bikini, do squats or get waxed.

Do what it takes to incorporate sexy into your life.

The sexier you feel, the better you’ll feel about your life. Trust me.

And self-care will definitely make you feel sexier.

I have just given you four easy ways to a healthier, sexier you. What do you do to feel sexy? Are there any fears or beliefs you hold around being sexy that keep you from feeling the way you wish you could? I would love to hear from you. Please leave your comments below.

XO, Hayley

Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates instructor, and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening—empowering her clients to heal not only their physical bodies but their hearts and minds as well. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

*Image courtesy of deeplifequotes.