Have you ever heard the phrase, Become the Observer? Deepak Chopra introduced me to this truth years ago and it changed my life. So today I want to share it with you.

Becoming the observer means being aware enough of yourself that you can step outside of an emotional upset or heated situation to observe how you are reacting to it. It means having a level of self-awareness that even when you’re in the middle of a conflict you are aware of yourself.

Objectively observing and gathering information about a situation seems easier when we’re doing it for someone else. You’ve all experienced this. A friend comes to you and is very upset. You remind them to take a deep breath, and you start to calmly ask questions about their situation. You do not flip out, start crying, and join them in their meltdown; because in this situation you are the observer (And that would also not be at all helpful!). You are not emotionally triggered therefore you are able to see the situation with clarity. Your pal is too emotionally heated to observe rather than react.

Much like your friend, when you react to intense emotions, there is no space between your thoughts for you to problem solve in a productive and skilled way. When you’re not acting as the Observer, it feels as though things are happening to you as opposed to you being a part of why it is happening. Now imagine being calm enough to connect with your problem-solving mind while experiencing a challenging situation?

In taking on the role of the observer you can actually start collecting incredibly valuable data about yourself.

You gain a deeper understanding of what is driving you, and what you are responding to. With this clarity you’ll find expansion and space. When you become the observer you increase your understanding of your reactions and eventually you will no longer be at the mercy of old emotional injuries, other people, or your own frustration.

Becoming the observer also puts you in a position where you can look at your part, in everything. When you become mindful, you can see clearly that no matter what anyone else has done, how you respond is about you. You no longer go immediately to blame because you understand your part.

Empowerment happens when you take responsibility for and understand your choices, actions and responses. @terri_cole (Click to Tweet!)

The more you observe yourself without judgment the more self-knowledge you possess. Once you understand why you respond a certain way, you are now in a position to make a different choice. I find that if you can exercise this ability, it will lead to some of the most important information that you will learn about why you are the way you are and how you are being in the world. This knowledge creates the choice to change what you don’t like.

Being mindfully aware enough to observe yourself takes time but just like anything the more you do, the better you get. I am interested in your thoughts about this topic so please drop a comment or ask a question. Thank you for your willingness to always work toward becoming more self-aware. And as s always take care of you.

Love Love Love


Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. Sign up for Terri’s weekly Tune Up Tips and follow her on Twitter.

**image courtesy of Joanna Bourne