Have you gone through childhood trauma? Perhaps you were ignored or criticized often. Perhaps you were abused and told you were not good enough, stupid. Perhaps you just felt uncared for and abandoned. These experiences hurt us and dim us but never are you left without a spark of light.

It’s our job to continue to spark and grow that inner spark, regardless of your pain, abuse, abandonment. @CosmicChristine (Click to Tweet!)

However it is always easier said than done.

Over the past week I saw myself prepare for my annual goddess retreat and old patterns around self love and self respect came up for me. Old ancient wounds of abuse and abandonment and unworthiness crept it. I was mad at myself for both allowing myself to react to it and also that it was still there. I had seen magical miraculous shifts recently and I felt almost “punished” from the universe. I found myself feeling like a victim. But then I realized it wasn’t helping to critique, to condone, and to abuse myself even more. What I needed more of was more love and more acceptance.

One of my favorite authors is Clarissa Pinkola Estés, I decided to look up some wisdom and came across the perfect piece: “Warming the Stone Child.” I like to think it was little cute angels guiding me to this perfect divine guidance.

She revealed something key…

A psychic secret. Clarisa Pinkola Estes said “The more willing you are to accept self love, self respect, doesn’t matter if your ears stick out etc.. It has nothing to do with that, it has to do with caring for all the things that you are, that is what develops the internal mother.”

What we often experience is a letting down experience of an external mother and then our internal mother is weak and fragmented. Then we, from our wounds, act out.

Instead, we must give ourselves the love and nurture that perhaps we were not given as a child.

What are the consequences of not mothering ourselves in a loving way?

– A critical harsh demeaning self talk
– Low self esteem
– Looking for love in abuse, drugs, sex, alcohol and quick fixes
– Treating oneself as an object and not as a divine and holy and sacred being

Essentially, you treat yourself and allow others to treat you like shit, and perhaps even treat others like shit too.

The path of walking towards mothering yourself reveals light, massive love, growth, & an unshakeable strength.

So if you’ve felt hurt or disappointed and bad, don’t give up, love yourself again and again as a kind and gentle nurturing mama would.

Baby girl, you are divine. I know and believe in your strength and wisdom. Shine.

Share with me. How can you parent yourself with a little more love this week?

With mama love,


Christine Gutierrez is a psychotherapist, advice columnist, speaker, author, poet, and founder of CosmicLife.com, an online hub that features psychologically-savvy and soulful advice, articles, videos, private consultations, workshops, retreats (both live and virtual), radio appearances, and television projects. “Ancient wisdom with a modern twist” is the motto. She has been featured in TimeOut NY Magazine, Latina Magazine as “The Future 15: The Healer,” Yahoo Health, Ebony Magazine, Cosmopolitan for Latinas, The Conversation, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Ricki Lake, Lifetime TV, and more. You can also follow Christine on Twitter and Facebook.

Check out her newly launched virtual group coaching program: Fierce Love Fierce Life, where we are going to get super personal and discuss these deep patterns that perhaps you have felt shackled to.

Image courtesy of wGGta.