Have you noticed a trend from blogging moms, lately? I’ve read more than one article suggesting that we can’t have our gluten-free, vegan, organic, sugar free cake and eat it too. The CEO of Coca Cola was quoted to say that if you asked her kids, they would most likely say she’s a terrible mom. The CEO of GM said the same thing. That’s crap. Is it so terrible to go to the best schools, live in beautiful homes and eat organic, fresh, healthy food daily? These moms may not be around to kiss every boo-boo, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t great moms.
Full-time mom’s probably think I’m missing out on watching my daughter grow up, because I’m always on the phone and working. I think that depends on what you call ‘missing someone grow up.’
When my daughter isn’t at preschool, she’s at home with me. I work from home. And because I’m creating my own rules, I get to pick her up at 2:30 and take her to a swim lesson or music lesson. That, to me, is the best of two worlds. I’m creating an enterprise and am still able to carve time out.
Do I need to spend ten hours a day with her? No. That’s just not my personality. We’re not all meant to be that kind of mom. I don’t feel the need to be around her every minute of the day. She’s super independent and loves to be at school and play with her friends. I don’t really think Madeline is missing out on me either! But when push comes to shove, I am right here for her when she needs me.
She often gets to travel with me when I have to go out of town. My business gives me the freedom and flexibility to bring her with me. ‘My little airport buddy”, she calls herself. Some of our most precious times have been when she’s out on the road with me. I love the fact that I have created the kind of life for both of us that allows her to come along with me. I can already see her growing up strong, independent and able to do things for herself. Deep down, I know she knows I’m always there for her.
But I don’t plan on busting my ass like this forever. Here’s my thought process: while some may say I’m missing the “best years,” I say I’m creating them. I’m in building mode right now. My business is blowing up, and once it’s been operating efficiently for a few more years, I’ll be able to go away with my family and not open my laptop for two weeks. We’ll be living debt-free lives, we’ll have retirement and college covered, and we will have a comfortable life. So, I don’t mind putting my time in now and then in five years, instead of working forty-sixty hour weeks, we’ll be able to live comfortably and Madeline will want for nothing.
So, for those of you moms who feel the need to have it all, take note, there are two really important things you need to have: a great support network and the right attitude.
You really need a good support network to have it all. My husband works, but he doesn’t travel, so if I decide to travel without Madeline, Wes picks up the slack. When I’m home, I take care of her. We tag team and it always works out because he can fill in where I can’t and vice versa. We trade off responsibility. It also helps a lot to have someone to clean the house once a week and a marketing team that I trust to reach more and more people for my business.
Single parents have it much harder, but it’s still doable. If there are older kids in the house, get them to help out. Preschool or daycare can also be a part of this. We’ve been sending Madeline almost daily for several years and we absolutely love the stuff she’s learned and the socialization skills she’s picked up.
Take the word ‘sacrifice’ out of your vocabulary. You are making compromises to achieve your goal. I don’t feel like I’m sacrificing anything. I have the freedom and flexibility to take Madeline to the pool in the middle of the day, but if I have to answer a text or an email, so be it. I’m a working woman. I have a great career that I love and a wonderful family all at the same time. My daughter is awesome and I am full-hearted with her in my life. I’m experiencing her growing up, she loves me and she knows that I love her.
You have to define what ‘having it all’ means to you and not let anyone else’s opinion of what that means interfere. I absolutely CAN have a career AND a daughter. I am a success in my business and my daughter is a beautiful, happy person. What more could I possibly ask for?
You’ve just read about how I have it all. Are you a mom that has it all too? Share your story.
Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates instructor, and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening—empowering her clients to heal not only their physical bodies but their hearts and minds as well. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.