What we say “no” to in life is just as important as what we say yes to . . .

I was reminded of this at a party recently that turned out to be much different than I expected – the vibe and one person in particular who was not being very kind to me from my perspective.  After about an hour of attempting to adapt myself to the situation, I realized that it was not self-honoring for me to be there.

So I left. I said “no” to hanging out in a situation that just did not feel good. It felt GREAT to walk away without any judgment of myself or anyone else. No one was wrong or bad, it just was not aligned with me. And I proceeded to have a beautiful evening with people I love and totally vibe with.

Saying “no” and opting out of situations, relationships, and environments sends a powerful message to the Universe of what you do want to attract into your life.

The process of elimination is an integral part to the process of co-creation! @ChristinHassler
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Which is why my encouragement to you today is to start saying “no” and opting out.

Consider what you are allowing in your life that is not aligned with who you truly are and what you really want:

  • Where are you settling for good enough when you desire better?
  • Where are you adapting, or even contorting yourself into a pretzel, to fit in where you truly don’t belong?
  • What are you saying “yes” to that is sabotaging your intentions surrounding health, wealth, and love?
  • How are you behaving that is distracting you from being on purpose – or potentially putting you at risk?

When something is not a “Hell Yes!” it is a “Hell NO!” “Maybe,” “possibly,” and “perhaps” are not empowering energies to engage in and will not get you where you want to go. If you feel unclear or uncertain, get quiet, go inside and listen to your intuition. Your inner knowing is not wishy-washy. Think of that time where you really knew something was a “no” and you did it anyway….how did that work out for you?

If accessing your inner knowing is challenging, you can use the wisdom of your body. In today’s vlog I demonstrate two techniques for how to do this so be sure to watch here.

It is okay to say “no” – and “no” is a complete sentence. You do not need to follow it with an explanation, apology, or combo of both.  Stop being a people-pleaser (read more about that here). Instead get more aligned with your values and intentions so you can be the best version of yourself and serve others rather than please or appease them.

Say “no” to big things like ending relationships that are not aligned with your values and what you have to offer to make room for your soul friends and mates. Say “no” to little things like texting while driving that could save your life or the life of some else. There is so much to say “no” to which is really saying “yes” to so much more!!

Remember: Your life is created just as much by what you say “no” to and take action away from as it is by what you say you say “yes” to and take action toward. I want to hear what you are saying, “Hell NO!” to – share your comments below.


Christine Hassler is a Life Coach with a counseling emphasis known for catalyzing radical self-reflection while offering practical direction. She is passionate about busting the myth that life is about living by a checklist and having it all figured out. In 2005, she wrote the first guidebook written exclusively for young women, entitled 20 Something 20 Everything. Christine’s second book, The 20 Something Manifesto written for men and women stems from her experience coaching twenty-something’s. Her third book: Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love and Life comes out in October 2014 and is written for readers of all ages. Christine has appeared as an expert on The Today Show, CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX, E!, Style and PBS, is a frequent contributor to The Huffington Post and Cosmo. As a Gen Y Expert, and is a spokesperson for American Express and the key resource for their women’s and millennial advocacy programs. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.

Image courtesy of Katzentatzen.