It could happen today! You could meet someone at the coffee shop, through a friend’s introduction, waiting for the bus… and begin a great relationship. But in order for that magical (or maybe seemingly mundane!) moment of connection to happen, you must be truly open to receiving and creating a relationship. So while there is no formula, no “right” way to find a relationship, there is a state of mind and heart at play, which precedes the start of one.
We believe that through a process called Life Design, you can use your home as a vehicle to put yourself in the best possible place—physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually—to meet or attract someone truly suited to you.
When you change your home, you can also dramatically shift your love life—we’ve seen it time and time again. We believe this correlation occurs because, when you change your home, you are changing the foundation from which you operate every day. If you consciously change that foundation so that it supports and reflects your goals, you will positively affect all aspects of your life. The Life Design process recognizes that, as we design our homes, we are in fact designing our lives.
We believe that the process of creating a home should begin not only with envisioning the kind of physical space you want (what it looks like), but also the kind of life you want to live (how do you want to feel in your home). Our surroundings should serve us on all levels; they should capture—and mirror—our values, provide a sense of purpose and meaning, inspire us, empower us, help us manifest our dreams, support our goals, lift our energy, and boost our health.
When you are focused on your dreams and goals, and are feeling good about yourself, you are more apt to attract positive people and opportunities. By clarifying your intentions, defining your goals and visualizing positive outcomes, you will begin to manifest them. You begin this process by creating an environment filled with inspiring symbols of your goals, so that you will be constantly in touch with them on a tangible level and hence be able to achieve them with ease.
Many of us inadvertently hold ourselves back from reaching our goals by doubting ourselves, by creating unnecessary obstacles, and by not supporting ourselves emotionally and physically. Similarly, our homes hold us back by anchoring stuck energy, mirroring old values and supporting unhealthy patterns.
Here’s a great way to shift that energy and get started:
Your home is a mirror of your life and is a reflection of your consciousness. So take a moment to “interpret” your home by witnessing your surroundings as if you were a guest visiting for the first time. What does this home say about the person who lives there? Do the objects you’ve chosen to place in your home reflect your interests, hobbies and habits? If the answer is yes, then go one step further, and ask yourself if you are happy with that reflection. Is this the YOU you want to be? If your home doesn’t reflect your interests, then ask yourself, why not?
It’s so important to be aware of your surroundings, because your home has the ability to influence your life.
The same way you influence your surroundings, your surroundings influence you. @ForbesSisters
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Once you appreciate the connection between your home and your life, you can look at your home to see what it is telling you about your love life. Most people will find that how they decorate their homes or what they have in their homes has a direct correlation to their romantic relationships.
For example, here are the ten most common things we see in homes of women and men who are looking for love, but haven’t found that special person yet.
- Pictures, letters, and belongings from an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. Letting go of photographs, letters, and mementos from past relationships presents a challenge for many, and spending time with intimate memories from your past can sometimes be a healing and empowering experience. However, if looking at these photographs and letters is not healing or empowering, or if they are keeping you tied to someone who is no longer in your life, then it is time to let them go. Instead, surround yourself with things that reinforce who you are now and who you want to be. Looking for a new relationship is a time of looking forward to your future, not being bogged down in your past!
- A bedroom set up for one person (i.e., one bedside table, one reading lamp, one pillow) or the long side of the bed is pushed up against a wall so only one person can enter the bed comfortably. While it is important to accept and embrace where you are now, it is also important that you make some space for a partner. Create a room for two people—both symbolically and physically make space for your future partner. Set up your bedroom for two – add the extra bedside table and lamp. Is there a comfortable place for two to hang out? Is there a place for two people to sit down and eat?
- Decor for girls and boys rather than men and women. If you are a man, avoid the “college frat room look” or the “bachelor pad” (i.e. mattress on the floor, futons, shot glass collections, high school trophies, dirty dishes in the sink, clutter everywhere, etc.) If you are a woman, avoid a room or apartment that resembles your room at your childhood home (i.e. doll collections, stuffed animals on the bed, too much lace or pink, sorority signs, baskets of dried flowers, furniture that looks like it is meant for teenagers rather than adults).
- Lots of solitary items, or groupings of three. Create a home that re-enforces the idea of togetherness. Pair objects in your home together.
- Excessive pictures of friends, family, and other people’s children, as well as too many pictures from one particular time in the past, such as college. Too many pictures of other people’s lives and a particular time in your life can divert focus away from your own life in the present moment. Create space for new people in your life and a new “best time of your life” by creating room for new photos.
- Unfinished or temporary-looking homes. We find that many people are waiting for a partner before buying or decorating a home. They don’t buy expensive or nice things for their home, because they want to wait until they have a “real” home (which is unfortunately frequently associated with getting married, registering for gifts, and buying a house). By surrounding yourself with things you don’t love, that are not in good condition, or things that you feel are second-rate, you’re subconsciously telling yourself that you don’t deserve better. It’s important to invest in yourself now and embrace the present moment. By doing so you are sending a message to the universe, as well as yourself, that you are worthy, and you are surrendering and accepting where you are now, which often leads to change.
- A television in the bedroom. Ideally, the bedroom should serve only two purposes: rest and romance. Yet, because of laptops, televisions, and phones, bedrooms are often more like media rooms than sensual and peaceful retreats. Don’t let a television replace a partner in your life.
- An overly feminine or masculine home. A home that is overly feminine may not invite masculine energy; a home that is too masculine may not support feminine energy. By creating a home that balances the masculine and feminine you are creating an environment that invites and supports a relationship.
- Single Women Art! Time and time again we find that our single female clients have an abundance of artwork that depicts a single woman looking depressed. Your home is a reflection of your state of mind, so surround yourself with images that reflect your goals (such as pictures of romantic places, happy couples or things in two’s) and evoke positive, uplifting feelings.
When your home is set up properly it can nurture, encourage, and inspire you to achieve your goals. You can even think of your home as your new best friend—a positive sounding board that is as supportive as a good friend, but also keeps you in check by constantly reflecting your true state back to you.
*Excerpt from: Love at Home: The Singles Guide to Feng Shui and Life Design
Sisters Laura and Alison Forbes are authors, speakers, bloggers, consultants, and co-founders of the home and lifestyle company Inspired Everyday Living. They write and speak about personal development through the home and believe that our homes are connected to all aspects of our well-being and influence all parts of our lives. Therefore, when you change your home, you change your life. They are the authors of The Peaceful Nursery: Preparing a Home for Your Baby and Love at Home: the Singles Guide to Feng Shui and Life Design. They also recently launched the online course Five Practices to Change Your Home & Life. To learn more about Laura and Alison, visit their website , check out their Free Video Series, or follow them on Facebook and Twitter.