Lately I have had the honor of supporting a lot of people going through the pain of divorce and sudden break ups. I feel inspired to share a couple of things with you.
I know what it feels like to be the Queen of Stupidity for having put my heart into the hands of someone else. I have to tell you, although it hurts like a bitch to wake up and see the pieces of your shattered heart thrown across the table in front of you,when you are ready, don’t forget to take a deep breath.
Honor the fact that you are hurting. Be real and embrace that being angry and disappointed are normal and healthy feelings.
However, do yourself a favor. Commit to being more connected to your Heart than being connected to the pain and the stories that your mind will tell you through this process.
Because you are angry and hurting doesn’t give you justification to hurt another person. Because you are angry and hurting doesn’t give you the justification to hurt yourself more than you are already hurting.
You say you love and have loved the person we are talking about. Then be quiet if you can’t be kind and gentle. Keep breathing. Feel all of the feelings that are there to feel and then keep breathing some more. Breathe until you feel a gentle peace come up from inside of yourself. It will come up, if you keep breathing.
When you lash out against another person, at first you will feel empowered. After a bit of time, you will notice that what you felt empowered saying will begin to transform into regret and shame. We have all done it and know what it feels like. You are already hurting enough, there is no reason to make yourself feel even worse at this time. Take responsibility for the fact you are hurting and breathe. If it’s not loving then don’t do it. I know this seems easier said than done. I guess it is in a way. However, in the long run, it IS easier because you won’t have all kinds of messes to try to clean up after endlessly apologizing.
Be loving and gentle to yourself through this difficult time. Everyone hurts through these types of transitions. Sometimes transitions are just a test to see how everyone is going to deal with them…and the outcome is a heightened level of trust between people.
Sometimes transitions are the opportunity to let go of one situation to embrace something better coming our way.
Please don’t let life’s circumstances ever give you an excuse to be nasty.
Don’t ever let life and other people define you.
Take a breath.
Now take a deeper breath.
You can do this.
Robin Lee is a medical intuitive, author, mentor, gratitude advocate, and speaker who has helped thousands of people around the world understand the language of their bodies. Robin believes that our bodies innately know how to balance and heal themselves if given proper care and support. Visit her website and follow her on Facebook and Twitter, where she shares tips, tools, and techniques to honor our bodies and heal our lives!
Image courtesy of Alessandro Bonvini.