At my book workshops I have been hearing a lot of people sharing about personal growth expectation hangovers. I have observed confusion and frustration as people make comments like:
“I’m doing all this work on myself, but the things in my life that I want are not happening. I don’t know what I am doing wrong.”
“I am really trying to love myself but I am still single. Since I do not have my soulmate, I must still not love myself.”
“I feel like I’ve been doing this work forever and things in my life still aren’t changing. I am tempted to give up because it doesn’t seem to be working.”
Can you relate to any of this? Are you having a personal growth expectation hangover? Well I hope to offer you a little relief in the form of a big wake-up call in today’s vlog.
Here is the Truth: The purpose of personal growth work is not to get some kind of external outcome. Granted, the desire for a relationship, career change, money, health or whatever it is you long for may be the catalyst that puts you on the path of a seeker, but please do not make it your goal. If you do, not only are you potentially setting yourself for an expectation hangover, you are missing the point of doing transformational work.
So what is the purpose of doing personal growth work?
We do the work to grow in our consciousness. We do the work to heal issues that have been heavy on our heart. We do the work to dissolve misunderstandings and limiting beliefs. We do the work to move out of fear and back into love. We do the work to nurture a more loving relationship with ourselves. And we do the work to connect more deeply to the Divine.
And as we do the work . . .
We realize the truth of who we are. We open our hearts to love. We show up more loving and compassionate in all our relationships. We experience more joy, gratitude and peace of mind. We are gentle with ourselves. We listen to the voice of our intuition over our ego. We allow ourselves to be guided.
Please do not minimize all the absolutely sacred transformational work you have done. Measuring your consciousness by external results is like evaluating a meal by only looking at your food rather than tasting it. Take in and savor all your incredible growth!!
Make how you feel on the inside become what you are devoted to rather than external results. Keep your focus on intrinsic intentions and you will avoid a personal growth expectation hangover.
Be pleasantly surprised by the people, situations and experiences that start to show up in your life as you become less obsessed with results.
Keep doing the work. Your soul depends on it.
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
Image courtesy of Scott Schwartz.