Last time I checked I was still human which means sometimes I experience stress and get disappointed; however, I have found ways to avoid or prevent the frequency and duration of both by applying what I call in Expectation Hangover the “secret sauce” formula for going after what you want.
What is the secret sauce? It is going after our dreams with high involvement and low attachment.
Involvement is the degree to which we proactively participate in the pursuit of our goals. Attachment is the degree to which our well-being, sense of worthiness, happiness, and peace of mind are dependent on reaching our goals. We create attachment whenever we become overly emotionally invested in a desired outcome, plan, or opinion. When we have any degree of attachment, we have expectations. And when we have expectations, we can have — you guessed it — Expectation Hangovers.
I share about how I used this secret sauce formula in today’s vlog that ultimately led to reaching a goal and shifted my experience of how it felt when it was achieved. Watch and you will also hear a beautiful story about my family that makes me cry!
The best recipe for going after what you want without setting yourself up for an Expectation Hangover is to pursue goals with high involvement and low attachment. You have a strong intention to co-create (together with the Universe) things in your life that are in alignment with your values and goals, but you are not attached to the outcome. Your sense of worthiness, success, or happiness is not tied to whether or not particular things happen. And you remain open to things manifesting in forms different than you may have expected.
You move into a perspective where you take action steps but surrender control, understanding that you are a co-creator with the Universe. You recognize that effort and commitment are important, but that results are not completely up to you and do not dictate your overall well-being.
Wanting things is not wrong. You are worthy and deserving of your dreams. @ChristinHassler
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The reason we set goals is because we want to feel a certain way and we think an outcome will produce a desired feeling or experience. What sets us up for disappointment is not our desires, but our attachment to our expectations.
Our external achievements do not define us. In fact if we allow them to, we have to keep raising the bar and enough will never feel like enough.
The greatest blessings are truly discovered in the process of pursuing our goals rather than the product.
Love and connection are what matters. In the pursuit of your goals, please do not lose sight of what counts the most.
Allow your desires to lead you but remember that you can generate whatever feeling you desire right NOW!
I’d love to hear how you are applying the secret sauce and celebrating all the blessings in your life in the comment section below!
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
If you are feeling a call to live a life that is magically aligned with the truth of your soul, then join me in Tulum, Mexico for a life-changing retreat. This year the focus is “New Year, Be YOU.” Please read more about this experience here and if it resonates, act quickly.