We are all equal. No one is better or worse than anyone else. No one is more or less worthy, lovable, or valuable.
But we often lose sight of this truth when we become identified with the roles we play in life and end up putting ourselves in “less than” or “better than” positions. Consequently, we internally and energetically promote or demote ourselves based on our perceived position in the relationship. And because of that, we either tolerate or engage in behavior that does not honor the equality of all human beings.
In today’s vlog which was inspired by a conversation I recently had with a friend who was struggling in a professional situation, I share about how to bring balance to all your relationships.
My friend who works as a consultant was talking about her people pleasing habit with a certain client who is rather well known. He was not treating her with respect (dishonoring agreements, expecting emails answered at 11pm, etc) and she continued to not only tolerate it, but worked even harder to please him. She realized she had him on a pedestal because of his prestige and felt obligated to contort herself into a pretzel to please him because he was the “boss.” What she lost sight of is that although she was hired by him and he may have more money, fame and power, that does not mean she is “less than” in anyway.
We demote ourselves when whenever we put someone else on a pedestal, seek approval, or tolerate being treated disrespectfully.
We promote ourselves whenever we look down upon someone else, take advantage, or treat anyone disrespectfully.
The truth is in any relationship there is equality no matter what the roles are because there is an exchange of energy and what each person is contributing is equally valuable. To create balance in a relationship, agreements need to be created that are upheld and honored. Demoting or promoting ourselves perpetuates an ego positioning that keeps us in a “better than” or “less than” mentality.
In my friend’s case, she justified her inner demotion because she was the hired help and looked up to him. I see many people who are in service based or supportive roles do the same because they do not see the value they provide.
I encourage you to examine your relationships and see where you are perpetuating an antiquated model of hierarchy by promoting or demoting yourself. Have the courage or the compassion to have the conversations to honor yourself or another.
- Are you putting someone else on a pedestal?
- Do you value approval over your own inherent value?
- Are you valuing and acknowledging the people that support you?
- Do you think the role you play is less significant or meaningful?
- Are you expecting others to kiss your you-know-what?
We must remove the hierarchy from our relationships and get back to the truth that we are all created equal.
We each have our unique gifts and talents that we bring to each relationship – see and acknowledge those in yourself and in others. Communicate with integrity and truth. Engage with love and compassion. The world is our mirror. We are all one. Remind yourself of this truth by bringing equality to all your relationships.
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