Do you find that you have taken on the expectation that if you are doing this personal growth work “right” you are supposed to be happy all the time? Sure, eternal happiness sounds awesome, yet this expectation that we “should” be able to be in a positive place all the time can be the very thing that eludes us from actually experiencing it.
How? Well, when we pressure or force ourselves to be a certain way, which involves avoiding the reality of our current feelings, we engage in what is called “spiritual bypass.”
Spiritual bypass is a process of attempting to high-vibe yourself out of what you perceive as a negative feeling instead of allowing yourself to feel it and heal it.
Don’t get me wrong – joy, love and peace are our essence, but if you haven’t noticed we are all still human and have moments of where that is not exactly our experience. In today’s vlog I encourage you to accept the contrast of your human experience and offer tips for how to move through those not-so-happy moments.
I recently spoke at an event and at the start, the group went around the room and shared what was present for them. I observed that everyone chose very positive uplifting words, which was beautiful. Yet, intuitively, I could feel that several of the people there were not congruent energetically with what they were saying. I could sense fear, heartache, confusion, sadness, and self-doubt in the room. It was almost as if they felt pressure to say something super spiritual and uplifting rather than be authentic and speak what was truly present for them.
As I observed this I was guided to talk about the truth that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Part of our journey is to allow for our humanness. And part of being a human is experiencing the range of emotions.
I know joy because I’ve known sorrow. I know love because I’ve known heartache. I know confidence because I’ve known insecurity. I know faith because I’ve known fear.
Transformation occurs in the experience of polarity – when we move from fear to love, from dark to light, from judgment to forgiveness.
But if we suppress what we perceive as negative feelings, we are not allowing for the authenticity of our human expression.
Think back to childhood. When we had a big feeling it was often dismissed. We were told things like, “Good girls/boys don’t cry” or “Shake it off, you’re fine.” As adults, we perpetuate the pattern of suppressing each time we allow the expectation of how we are “supposed” to feel trump what is truly present for us.
I am NOT saying identify or indulge with your feeling, but rather gree
t them with COMPASSION. When you get triggered, please don’t shame your feelings. Please don’t dismiss them. Please don’t suppress them or spiritual bypass out of them. Move into compassion, which means being with suffering (“co” means with and “passion” means suffering). The more you do, the more you will authentically feel happiness because you are surrendering judgment and breaking the cycle of suppression.
Acknowledge what is present, allow yourself to feel it without making it mean anything about you. By applying the beautiful quality of compassion to your humanness, you will discover your feelings will move through you and you will get authentically to the other side.
Today I support you in taking the pressure off yourself to be any certain way and allow yourself to be human. We discover peace and acceptance with the full range of our human experience by responding to ourselves with compassion.
Please don’t put this expectation on yourself that you are supposed to be a certain way ALL the time. Allow yourself the range of the human experience, resting in the awareness that you are love. And resting in the knowing that even if things feel wrong, bad, or hard at times, there is nothing wrong with you.
Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.
I would love to work with you in 2015! If you are interested in exploring what we can create together, we have one spot left for my retreat in Tulum and two spots left for my six month Secret Sauce training program.