Flying back from Detroit to New York City, I glanced at my boarding pass. “Seat 1C” I said to my sister, high-fiving her. That’s row #1!” I’d always marveled at people up front, they seemed to say, “We’re cool. Our experience is better.” I also hated rough air and knew if you sat up front you felt less turbulence. Being close to the pilot made me feel safe. When we sat down I felt actual pride.
I didn’t see a seat-pocket in front of me, so I slid my notebook under my seat. It flew out of reach. “The seats are bigger,” I thought and put down my purse. “Ma’am, you need to put that overhead.” I put my bag up top and turned on my tunes. “Put your electronics away.” But I needed music at take-off and usually hid it behind the person in front. Up here I had no cover.
“What do people do up here then!? No phone, no notebook, no pens, no novel, no water, no music!” My stroke of luck melted into anger and indignation. “You do remember you high-fived me a minute ago about these seats, right?” my sister smiled across the aisle.
How often do we think “I want that” instead of what we have? @ishitagupta (Click to Tweet!)
We say, “I have this, but it can be better. I want it better and it should be.” I want it more like his. I like hers, not this. What’s in front of us doesn’t excite us or make us feel good.
It’s not wrong to want better for yourself. You should want better because you deserve it. But be careful your longing doesn’t turn into delusion; just because you think it’s better and you want it, doesn’t mean it is actually better for you. It might be, but it might not.
Seat-belted into the middle of this lesson, I had to laugh. Not only was the grass not greener, it was nowhere near it.
Sometimes what we have in front of us is genuinely not cool or sexy. But remind yourself that despite how you feel, what you have might be exactly what you need right now. It might change later, but for now it’s okay. Consider the thing, the lesson, the tool is serving it’s good, right purpose in your life how the universe intended it.
Consider that what’s in front of you may be serving you in helpful ways you don’t even understand right now.
You’re not meant to stop desiring. Ever. When you long for something long enough, you may be lucky enough to get it. You’ll be luckier still if what you get reminds you that what you had was perfect for you all along.
I’d love to hear from you. Did you want something and then get it and feel disappointed? Was it not all it was cracked up to be? I’d love to know how you responded in the moment.
Ishita Gupta is the publisher of fear.less magazine. She worked at The Domino Project, runs the Potential Project, and helps people overcome fear and design their best lives. She also consults for authors and businesses on marketing and publishing. You can also follow Ishita on Facebook or Twitter.
Image courtesy of Relaxing Music.