This morning my daughter Madeline was being pretty “difficult” with me. As you know having a six year old daughter certainly comes with many testing moments.
Today was her birthday party and she wanted to wear pajamas and her Minnie Mouse high-heeled shoes. The problem is that those shoes always hurt her feet and she always comes complaining to me about the pain.
So I thought I would be the good Mom and try to avoid the pain and discomfort for her on her birthday and told her she couldn’t wear those shoes.
When I said no, she started crying hysterically, so I sat down on the floor of her closet with her with the door closed to ask her WHY she was crying.
She told me she had dreamt all night of wearing this night gown with high heeled shoes and a crown because she wanted to be beautiful for her party.
OMG. I almost died. Of course she could wear what she wanted.
She has her own vision and belief systems in place already. This girl knows what she wants and did not want to take NO for an answer on this occasion – and a number of other occasions too – but this time it was different.
This was not her acting like a spoiled brat and not listening to me, no this was her dream getting crushed by me and she was standing up for herself.
That little moment was so powerful for me for a number of reasons:
- It reminded me that kids have a voice too and if I had just interrupted her and said, “NO you’re not wearing those shoes, choose something else and that is the end of it” I would never have given her the opportunity to explain to me her dream and vision.
- As we grow older we are going to have many dreams for ourselves and they will get crushed by well-meaning people – these are typically our loved ones, like parents, friends and siblings. We need to be steadfast in our vision and dreams and not be strayed off course by the opinions of others, no matter how well meaning their intentions.
- Don’t be afraid to stand up and fight for your voice and opinion. Make yourself heard, not in an obnoxious way, but be firm in your convictions and beliefs. You don’t have to follow the opinions of others.
- Be authentic and be yourself. Who cares if you’re wearing your pajamas to your party with crazy high heels that hurt your feet? Are you happy? Then that is all you need to worry about.
- Communicate. How will others understand you and your problems if you don’t express and convey your thoughts and feelings.
- Listen. Just listening to another perspective can completely benefit both parties and give you a completely different perspective of their situation.
- Our kids are our teachers. They may not always listen and they may do things that drive us crazy, but those moments can be our greatest teachers. Our behavior also has an influence on them and will determine how they behave in the future. So trying to be a better listener, more patient, less reactive and a positive influence in their lives will certainly go a long way in helping them be the same.
- High heels hurt your feet. Let’s be honest we love our shoes but whether you’re six or sixty, those high heels do hurt us don’t they?
What lesson have you learnt from your kids over the years? I know I keep learning every single day.
Hayley Hobson is an author, speaker, business coach, yogi, Pilates instructor, and holistic nutritional expert based in Boulder, CO. Her unique and intelligent style promotes strengthening while softening—empowering her clients to heal not only their physical bodies but their hearts and minds as well. To learn more about her nutritional courses, events, and custom programs, visit hayleyhobson.com or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.