It’s easy for personal growth teachers to say, “Be open.” Be open to what life is dishing out for you. Be open to the pain. Be open to what’s possible. Be open to other ways of seeing things.

It sounds easy. But it can feel impossible. In the face of pain, or subtle fear, or the disorientation that change can bring, being open is anything but easy.

Openness is not a passive exercise. You actually have to do openness. @DanielleLaPorte
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Sometimes opening up means ripping your heart open. Sometimes, it means staying just one minute longer when you’d rather run.

Openness is a three step process:

1. Open.
2. Stay open.
3. Open some more.

See, I made it sound easy. But here’s what’s in-between Steps one to three…


  • Doubt. Think twice. Be skeptical. Yep, it’s actually useful to fully feel your cautious emotions about a situation — so you can choose to open up despite them. Look at your fears and get in front of them.
  • Sweat. Tremble. Stretch. If your mind is in fear, it will show up in your body — tight chest, shallow breathing, muscle tension. As you steer your mind and heart to open, the fear will need a way of leaving your body.
  • Wince. Moan. Holler. See above. Constriction has a sound. So does openness.
  • Declare. Affirm. Announce. I’m afraid, but I’m doing this. I want what’s on the other side. I’m willing to open.
  • Ask. Pray. Invoke. Life, help me expand into this opportunity. Angels, give me courage. God, show me how to unfold.
  • Recall. Remember. Recapitulate. I’ve done this before, I can do it again. I have heroes who have gone before me.
  • Trust. Lean back. Have faith.

When you open, there’s no guarantee that you’ll get what you want, or that you won’t get injured. But you’ll be more…open. And that’s the only way that your strength, your truth, and the power of life can move through you.

Danielle LaPorte is the outspoken creator of The Desire Map, author of The Fire Starter Sessions (Random House/Crown), and co-creator of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan. An inspirational speaker, former think tank exec and business strategist, she writes weekly at, where over a million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice — a site that’s been deemed “the best place on-line for kick-ass spirituality”, and was named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes.

You can also find her on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter @daniellelaporte.