I might not have witnessed the most tragic losses of our time but I have been a witness to thousands of mourners and I come away with one truth.

We heal only as a collective.

We heal only with each other.

We heal by holding hands.

We heal only by witnessing each other’s losses.

We heal only with compassion of another’s pain.

We heal only by giving our preciousness to another.

We are not here to exist alone.

And no I don’t mean that we need to find a romantic partner, but we do need to find our own group, our tribe…a gathering of souls that resemble our own soul.

Because without them we can not survive the grief we have in our hearts after a loss.

We cannot endure the pain and sorrow that stems from saying goodbye to the loves of our lives.

Today I will ask you to find your people.

Find them.

However difficult it is, it should be your mission.

Healing only takes place when we find one another. @SecondFirsts (Click to Tweet!)

When we connect with souls that carry the same pain something divine takes place. Something that not only heals us but allows our evolution to take place.

I have been searching to find how grief helps our humanity evolve for a really long time.

At first I focused only on individual healing but when people started to come together in my communities, in my classes, something truly incredible started to happen.

Not only did they start to take action out of their own waiting rooms but they were also helping others get out too.

They were lifting each other up.

People who had been alone for years found their new family.

People who had lost hope that they would ever even laugh again, they would in an unexpected moment.

And my most favorite part has been to see people find their worthiness again through the witnessing of others.

Through the sharing.

The loving.

The connection of souls who have walked the same path.

So starting over after loss still requires action but it also requires a community.

My ask of you for this week is a little difficult, but I want to give it a go.

So…for this next week if it is at all possible look for a community in your local church, in your neighborhood, in your town.

Find a support group.

Even just a small group of three can do wonders.

Sit with the people who see your pain, know your journey.

Get the complexity of your soul.

Don’t sit next to people who are completely oblivious to a broken heart.

It is not their fault that they can’t see you, they just don’t have the compassion required yet.

And remember healing takes place in plural.

In a WE and not an I.

In an US and not a ME.

We are doing this together.

As a whole.

We march out of the waiting room and into a new life holding hands.

Until the end.

With love,


Christina Rasmussen is a bestselling author, speaker and philanthropist on a crusade to change the way we live after loss. As the founder of Second Firsts and Life Starters both organizations to help people create a pathway back to life after loss, Christina has helped thousands of people rebuild, reclaim, and relaunch their lives using the power of the human mind. Her book Second Firsts: Live, Laugh, and Love Again, aims to take her message even further. You can find more information on her website and follow her on FB or Twitter.

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