I know you’re a loving person. I have no doubt that you treat your family and friends with kindness and consideration (OK let’s say most of the time). Do you extend your vast capacity to be loving to YOU? Or are you much more judgmental and much less loving towards yourself then you are to others? This is a common experience for many of my over achieving, perfectionist driven clients and is important because a lack of self-love can block you from creating the healthy, happy life you deserve.
To dive deeper on this I rang up my pal Gala Darling. She is an author, coach and self love guru and has an eye-opening perspective on the topic. Darling says:
“You don’t need to have a “perfect life” to love the way you exist in the world. You don’t need a “perfect body” to appreciate how you look (and have fun with it). You don’t need to BE PERFECT to enjoy your life and live it to the hilt. This [self love] is not about trying to become an immaculate person. It is about looking at your messiness and realising that you have an inherent beauty regardless. Radical self love is about seeing yourself as you truly are — with no delusions — and choosing to believe that you are pretty goddamn great.”
Your flaws are what make you beautiful. #BeYou @GalaDarling via @TerriCole (Click to Tweet!)
What Gala and I both believe is that there are simple yet highly effective ways for you to amp up your self-love — no makeup, man or magical diet required.
1. Self Talk
Pay attention when you talk about yourself, both to others and internally. Are you positive or negative? Are you constantly putting yourself down or are you kind and gentle? The more lovingly you speak to (and about) yourself, the happier you will be. Be good to yourself, even if you don’t feel totally deserving, because believe me when I say, you are. When you increase your own self love, others will follow your lead.
Meditation gives you the space to observe your daily thoughts without getting sucked into them. You are not your thoughts and your thoughts are transformable. You can identify unloving habitual thought patterns and choose to replace them with more empowering, loving thoughts.
**Want a free self-love meditation? Follow me on Instagram @TerriCole and be on the lookout for a post that will give you access later this week.
3. Take Action
Self-love is the foundation to a happy life and it begins with you! Starting today, I encourage you to make time for, as Gala would say, radical self love. Commit to doing something kind for yourself every day for the next week and see what shifts. Self-love requires action, so please start treating yourself the way you deserve and desire to be treated, starting now. You may be surprised by how special, treating yourself to a latte, a manicure or your favorite meal, can make you feel.
Self-love can be challenging especially if you did not have good role models in childhood. Fear not, real self love is still possible! To learn more about how to prioritize self-love, please join me and Gala Darling on my podcast, Hello Freedom. We’ll give you tips and tools to blow up limiting beliefs and retire tired old stories that may be keeping you stuck. Check out the interview on iTunes, subscribe and listen. Or click here.
Do you consciously practice self-love? In the comments section below please share one tip or tool you use to stay on the self-love boat. Gala and I can’t wait to read what you have to say.
Self-love is all about honoring yourself in this life. Treat yourself as you would treat the person you love most in the world. Be kind. Be patient. And as always, take care of you.
Love Love Love,
Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. Sign up for Terri’s weekly Newsletter , check out her blog and follow her on Twitter.
*image courtesy of Gloria Garcia