Think of something in your life you really want. Maybe it’s a new career, or a romantic relationship, or a healthier body. Now consider how devoted you are to creating it.

If you are like most people, there was probably a point when you were super psyched about taking steps to make it happen – maybe you even set a New Year’s resolution. Now that time has gone by and you may not be getting the results you hoped for, you have decided to surrender. You are letting it go and leaving it up to the Universe.

And that process of surrender is awesome unless . . .

You are actually giving up, not surrendering. I explain the difference, which can be very subtle, in the vlog below.


I see way to many people slip into resignation and call it surrender. Resignation has a feeling of giving up that comes with it. It puts us into a vibration of hopelessness and defeat. Yuck! Who wants that? Well none of us set out to resign, yet we end up doing it often very unconsciously. Why? Here are the three main reasons:

1.) We get discouraged. We have tried. We have taken steps. We have changed, grown, and devoured personal growth books. And it is sill not happening. So we feel defeated and just give up. So to make ourselves feel a little better (and still spiritual) we call it surrender.

2.) We stop believing. As much as we desire something, our own self-doubt and worthiness issues creep up. It is hard to maintain momentum when our opinion of ourselves is low. So it is easier to give up and continue reaffirming our limiting beliefs. We stay in the comfort zone of our story rather than having to feel the pain of an expectation hangover.

3.) We do not want to do what it takes. Dreams are not something you can order in a drive-thru. They take dedication, intention, time, energy and commitment. It is not always easy or immediate. But we want what we want now so we work really, really hard for it. Then once we become absolutely exhausted or distracted by something else, we say we are “surrendering it to the Universe” when really we are just being lazy.

Now that you are clear on the sneaky ways that you are resigning and calling it surrender, let’s get clear on what surrender actually means.

Surrender is the process of letting go of attachment not action or intention @christinhassler (Click to Tweet!)

We surrender when we stop clinging to form and timing. For instance, if you desire to surrender regarding a job search, it does not mean you stop looking and just hope the Universe delivers one to you. Instead, you let go of attachment to a particular type of job or the timing it needs to come by. You still are taking action steps but in different ways like going to networking events instead of submitting resumes on line.

Now you are probably thinking, “Gee whiz I really thought surrender meant letting go of something by not taking action to force it to happen.” And you are correct. Sometimes it does mean that but let’s circle back to the word intention. When we surrender something in terms of the form or the timing it comes in, it does not mean we let go of the desire. In order for something to manifest in our lives, we need to preserve our longing. Take a romantic relationship for example. You may surrender the who, what, how, and when but it is important to hold onto the longing in your heart. Remain intentional about staying open, creating space in your life, and holding a positive vision for it!!

Please, please do not slip into resignation when it comes to your dreams and call it surrender. Keep the faith. Remain active and intentional. Allow yourself to feel the longings in your heart.


Christine Hassler has broken down the complex and overwhelming experience of recovering from disappointment into a step-by-step treatment plan in her new book Expectation Hangover. This book reveals the formula for how to process disappointment on the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual levels to immediately ease suffering. Instead of wallowing in regret, self-recrimination, or anger, we can see these experiences as catalysts for profound transformation and doorways that open to possibility. You can find more info on her website, and follow her on Twitter and FB.

Image courtesy of Unsplash.