When you want to connect; when you want to create a relationship, the most vital action to take is to deeply listen.
All relationships and connections are circles…enclosed combinations of projections and receptions. Amongst humans, and any creature with verbal communication, reception is listening — projection is expressing. Sunia is the word in Sanskrit/Gurumukhi that means: the art of ‘extreme deep listening’…beyond the words…listening to the tones; to the inflections; to the inferences — each subtlety of the sound. It’s through these subtleties that you actually connect to the root understanding — what a person truly means; where they’ve come from to speak their words; what they’re intending with these words, and how sincere . . . absolutely everything. Even when they’re unable to accurately express the exact words, these subtleties express the missing information for them…such is the art of sunia…deep listening.
When a person experiences your depth of listening — their needs will relax…they feel heard. Once a person feels heard, they’re able to further express their feelings and thoughts; their communication becomes more authentic; a deep relation and connection takes place.
In today’s world, this is an avoided art…listening at this deepest level feels too vulnerable…it exposes too much information. Instead, it’s become a common human reaction to not listen to someone’s words, but to interpret instead…to determine what their words mean to the listener — not the speaker.
Our prayer is that you will stop interpreting and start listening.
Listen to the layers of another person’s expression; understand the purpose behind their words, as well as the missing words too timid to be spoken. Practice ‘sunia’ and create an authentic connection with each conversation. Enable understanding by standing under the communication of each relationship and lifting it up…or as Yogi Bhajan would say, “In every conversation, be a forklift.”
Guru Singh is a world-renowned yoga instructor, author, musician, and family man. Guru Singh works with the Dalai Lama, teaches with Tony Robbins, and has recorded an album with Grammy® Award-winning artist Seal. He can also be found on Facebook and Twitter.
Check out Guru Singh’s most recent book: Buried Treasures: The Journey From Where You Are to Who You Are.
Image courtesy of Kalen Emsley.