“Surrender isn’t about being passive. It’s about being open.” ~ Danielle LaPorte
Does the thought of surrendering send shivers up your spine?
Do you immediately think of giving up? Or giving in?
What’s the real truth about surrender?
Could Surrender ever be Sweet?
You hear tell of “sweet surrender.” But surrender was never sweet for me. It meant losing—losing face, losing the game, losing who I thought I was.
The truth was that I felt like I would lose myself. Even if I didn’t have a clear notion of what that meant. If I stayed in control I would be protected; even as my gut was clenched against a blow that never came and my spirit sagged beneath the weight of my sorry expectations.
My years as a psychotherapist taught me to refer to this way of being as “using defense mechanisms”. It was a way to keep me feeling safe in the face of apparent danger.
But all the therapy, encounter groups, and self-help books didn’t teach me what I needed to know in order to feel a sense of inner peace.
Because how do you surrender when you feel like your existence is on the line?
The Mystery of You
Let me give you a way to navigate this.
Every one of us has a story to tell that calls forth the mystery of “who we are”. Whenever you tell your story you choose to call out different aspects: the dramatic moments that you think are important, the struggles that you imagine define you, or the moments in time where, if you connect the dots, paint a picture of a life that holds more promise than you thought possible.
You choose what you pay attention to, as well as the meaning that you give to it. @TheBacaJourney (Click to Tweet!)
You have a choice to view each experience you have through the lens of the creative spark of life.
This is true in every moment.
You have a choice to view each experience you have through the lens of the creative spark of life. Or you can forever doubt the truth of your own inner experience, giving credence only to what comes from outside of you.
That self-doubt, for me, had been defining my suffering.
The Inner Spark
The dream of something grand was nascent within me. It kept me moving towards something that was quietly waiting for me. I wanted to trust that something existed beyond my basic fear of life. I’d had enough experiences that pointed me to this sense of more.
But I needed to get quiet enough, long enough, consistently enough to experience the inner realm that was waiting for me.
It was not until I had the opportunity to receive energy transmissions during a time of meditation that a new way of being with myself opened up. I experienced such extraordinary Love that was beyond what I had known was possible.
This feeling of Love was not emotional in the slightest. Yet it gave me a feeling of utter well-being and connectedness to something greater than me. At the same time, I felt it as an intimate part of me.
This was the feeling of inner peace!
I could no longer doubt that the grandness in life that I had longed to experience actually existed. It was this inner experience of Love that took root in me and opened the way to transform my life in unimaginable ways. I began to pay attention to and trust my internal world. Over time, it became a new way of living.
Defenses and boundaries melted away with the experiential recognition of my new life beginning to bloom.
Surrender Opens Possibilities
It was my start of learning about the possibilities inherent in surrender. I realized that there was something very precious to gain in surrendering, rather than an identity to lose. My inner connection grew stronger. I discovered the power of trusting my inner experience, rather than holding fast to my old patterns of self-doubt. Sometimes that has meant that I’ve taken the path far less traveled. I’ve made choices that others thought were crazy but were oh-so-right for me.
The story-choice I made? Releasing my need to control. Connecting the dots of my life in a way that acknowledges possibility. Feeling love.
It’s a daily practice.
What did I win? My-self. Sweet surrender. Priceless.
How about you? What could you “win” by surrendering?
Bestselling author, Illuminator and Master Teacher, Laurie Seymour, M.A., founded The Baca Journey to teach leaders and emerging leaders how to reliably connect with their own inner wisdom. She shows them how to sustain their inner connection, creating a path of self-mastery. As Turaya Grand Master, Laurie teaches Turaya Touch and Turaya Meditation around the world, including online. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter.
Image courtesy of Annie Spratt.