Why do people feel that they are not good enough? Where does the belief of “not good enough” originate? And, how do people overcome the idea of not being good enough?
It starts with your childhood. As a child, you are a sponge to all your surroundings. You take in your environment not only on an emotional level, but on a physical and intellectual level as well. Studies have shown that a child’s brain will develop 80% by the age of three. Your experiences and relationships will have the biggest impact on you. That means that every moment matters – Yes, every thought, every word, every feeling. The most important thing for you as a kid is obtaining love and affection. Your MAIN goal is just to be loved!
There are many factors that contribute to the idea that you are not good enough. Such as your parent’s inability to love you because they weren’t loved themselves. Or their lack of support for your talents, since they were not encouraged to believe in their own abilities. As children, we don’t understand why adults act in unpredictable and destructive ways. Just know it was not your fault.
Children often become “fixers” when they feel they are not getting the love they need. They are always trying to make others around them happy, thinking “If they’re happy, then I’ll be loved.” As adults, these kids become people pleasers and constantly worry what other people think.
You must know that as a child you are not here to “fix” adults. Their problems are not your problems to solve. When you’re a child you don’t understand this. But once you do, you begin to heal from the emotional baggage that’s held you back from living the life you always wanted.
Think about it this way. Imagine that you’re about to give the dance performance of a lifetime. However, you are burdened with a huge sack of rocks. The rocks vary in size, from pebbles to boulders and together they are extremely heavy. Therefore, you are weighed down and cannot move.
These rocks represent other people’s problems, opinions and criticisms. The only way you will overcome the thought of “not being good enough” is to let go of these rocks and realize that they were never yours to carry in the first place.
It is not your responsibility to deal with your family’s sadness or insecurities. Knowing this will provide you the freedom to see who you could truly become!
Of course you are good enough! You were born perfect and uniquely created. You deserve the best that life has to offer. Remember…
Never put the key to your happiness in somebody else’s pocket. @berniehiller (Click to Tweet!)
Take your key and set yourself free.
Bernard Hiller is the premier acting and success coach in Hollywood. His revolutionary techniques and methods have taken the artistic and business community by storm. He teaches sold-out Masterclasses in over 16 countries. He trains top artists in Los Angeles and CEO’s around the globe. His methods of “behavior transformation” have resulted in amazing acting and business success. Bernard has started the career of Cameron Diaz and coached Jeff Goldblum, Lionel Richie, LL Cool J, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Doran, Emma Roberts, Billy Crystal, and Jennifer Garner to name only a few. Leonardo DiCaprio recommends him as the top coach in town. Bernard’s #1 Acting and Success book, “Stop Acting-Start Living“ is a must read. You can connect with him on Facebook & Twitter.