“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
Let’s discuss one of the only clubs in the world that no one should ever want to be a part of, and that is the “Ain’t it Awful” Club.
The “Ain’t it Awful” Club is populated by negative, judgmental, and pessimistic people who only focus on how bad things are and how it’s always other people who are responsible for their unhappiness and lack of success.
They tend to be blamers, complainers, and excuse makers. They constantly blame others for everything that doesn’t work in their lives. They blame the government, the latest wave of immigrants, their bosses, their employees, their coworkers, and their spouses, parents, and children for why they don’t have what they want in life.
They are also complainers. They complain about their job, the traffic, their neighbors, the economy, the media, the schools, today’s kids, the weather, their faulty equipment, and on and on.
They are also perennial excuse makers. Instead of getting things done, they make excuses for everything. It is never their fault. The printer was late, the traffic was terrible, they didn’t have enough time, they were underfunded, everyone else screwed up, the lack of clear instructions, and so on.
Nothing is ever their fault.
The problem with blaming others
The problem with this kind of thinking is that instead of results, excellence, achievement, and success, you only end up with reasons why you didn’t create the desired result – for yourself or for your employer.
You may get a lot of agreement from other people. You may get to temporarily feel better, but what you don’t get is what you set out to produce – greater happiness, fulfillment, prosperity and abundance, and the achievement of your dreams and objectives.
Stop blaming others and take 100% responsibility instead
It’s critical to stop blaming others and replace complaining and excuse making with 100% responsibility thinking.
First, realize you are creating your current reality with your thoughts and your images.
One of the great positive affirmations to write down and put where you will see it every day is: “If it is meant to be, it is up to me!”
Learn to Ask Yourself Different Questions
You also have to start asking a different set of questions. Instead of, “Why can’t I?” or, “Why didn’t I achieve that result I wanted?” use positive affirmations and ask…“How can I achieve it?”
When something is not working the way you want, you can ask yourself any of these questions:
- “How am I creating or allowing this to happen?”
- “What am I doing that is working that I need to do more of, and what I am I doing that is not working that I need to do less of?”
- “Am I working too much?”
- “Am I talking too much and not listening enough?”
- “Am I not asking enough questions?”
- “Am I not inspecting other people’s work until the last minute and therefore, getting sloppy results?”
- “Am I drinking too much alcohol, not getting enough sleep, gossiping too much?”
- “What am I pretending not to know?”
- “What yellow alerts that things are not right or not on track am I ignoring because it is uncomfortable to have to deal with them?”
- “What actions are needed here?”
- “If I don’t know or am not sure what to do, who can I ask for help, advice, or support?”
- “When will I take action on the needed actions?”
Are you surrounded by negative people?
Finally, let’s look at what you should if you find yourself surrounded by members of the Ain’t It Awful Club…
Whether it’s at work, at the local bar, in your school, your sports team, or at home, the first thing is not to join into the negativity.
Don’t participate in the negative blaming, complaining, and excuse making. You can attempt to change the topic to what actions need to be taken to change things for the better, but if that doesn’t work, it is best to vacate the area and go about working on your goals and objectives.
Free Yourself From Negative People
Make a list of everyone you spend time with on a regular basis— your family members, coworkers, neighbors, friends, and so on. When you’ve completed your list, go back and put a minus (-) sign next to those people who are negative and toxic, and a plus (+) sign next to those who are positive and nurturing.
Next, make a decision to stop spending time with those people with a minus sign next to their name. If that is impossible (and remember, nothing is impossible; it is always a choice), then severely decrease the amount of time you spend with them.
Are there people in your life who are always complaining and blaming others for their circumstances? Are there people who are always judging others, spreading negative gossip, and talking about how bad it is? Stop spending time with them as well.
Dedicate Yourself to Success
If you are going to be successful, you have to start hanging out with the successful people. Ask them to share their success strategies with you. Then try them on and see if they fit for you.
Leave a comment below and share with me one person who positively impacts your life and why!
As the beloved originator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, Jack Canfield fostered the emergence of inspirational anthologies as a genre—and watched it grow to a billion dollar market. As the driving force behind the development and delivery of over 100 million books sold through the Chicken Soup for the Soul® franchise, Jack Canfield is uniquely qualified to talk about success. Jack is America’s #1 Success Coach and wrote the life-changing book The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be and Jack speaks around the world on this subject. Check out his newest book The 30-Day Sobriety Solution: How to Cut Back or Quit Drinking in the Privacy of Your Own Home. Follow Jack at www.jackcanfield.com and sign up for his free resources today!
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