You know her. Maybe you are her. Or you were. Sisters, please don’t become her. Sisters (and brothers), let’s heal her.

She’s giving up on love and life.

Sometime, as a result of having to try too hard to get her very essential Soul needs met she… just… got… worn… down. She had no choice but to stiffen. Then she realized that she had a choice. And she heard Anais Nin say, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Sometimes she just has no experience of supple because it was never shown to her. Brittleness can come down the female lineage tree like arthritis. But then…

She heard her Spirit say, I miss the softness of you.

The brittle woman belittles her man. And it kills her to kill him like that, but she’s so strapped down by hungry ghosts and frustration — and fear — that she can’t seem to help herself. Until she realizes that not only can she help herself — she can help the whole wide f-cking world.

There’r juicy b*tches and there’r mean b*tches. She’s not the juicy kind.

The brittle woman tells everyone what to do like her life depends on it — but beneath her grip she senses that there are plenty of reasons to trust — that people are beautiful and they’ll come through.

She has a hard time being happy for everyone’s else’s happiness and this keeps her disconnected from free-flowing love — which is what she wants the most — free-flowing love!

She started cutting up her fruit instead of biting it whole. She stopped wearing perfume and celebrating what only women can celebrate. She let the day-to-day become her cause, and she drugged her inner activist with conformity. She stopped circulating her wishes. She forgot. She forgot that:

if she fully admitted to her desire,
if she leaned back on the universe,
if she opened her heart, and her eyes, and then her legs
the power of her truth would come rushing in.

Then she heard Audre Lorde sing: “When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”

And she caught herself in the mirror. And she saw possibility. And she heard her Spirit say:

Your openness will move the world. @DanielleLaPorte (Click to Tweet!)


Danielle LaPorte is the creator of The Desire Map: A Guide To Creating Goals With Soul — the book that turned into a day planner system, a top iTunes app, and an international workshop program. A Desire Map workshop happens every weekend somewhere in the world. Author of The Fire Starter Sessions and the wildly popular #Truthbomb series, Danielle is also the co-creator of Your Big Beautiful Book Plan and co-host of the Beautiful Writer’s Group podcast.

Entrepreneur Magazine calls her “equal parts poet and entrepreneurial badass…edgy, contrarian…loving and inspired.” A speaker, poet, former business strategist and Washington-DC think tank exec, she writes weekly at, where over four million visitors have gone for her straight-up advice — a site that’s been deemed “the best place online for kick-ass spirituality,” and was named one of the “Top 100 Websites for Women” by Forbes. The Huffington Post named her Twitter feed as one of the “12 of Wisest Twitter Accounts Worth Following.” You can find her @daniellelaporte just about everywhere.