Depending on others for a sense of independent psychological well-being is an accident waiting to happen. In any relationship where one depends on his or her partner to be their parachute and the other accepts this role, both will fall to the ground. You do not have to live with this kind of fear for one more moment. Give yourself permission to see the whole truth about human nature and its affairs, and, in turn, the truth will show you something about yourself that will lift you high above any of your present painful concerns.

So don’t be afraid to come to the temporarily disturbing but wonderful understanding that there is no one for you to count on, because there isn’t — at least not where you have been looking.

This gradual realization of your true and present position in life is actually a step up; it only feels like a step down. And the only reason it feels like this is because, unbeknownst to yourself, you have been living with the self-limiting belief that one day someone will give you what you haven’t been able to give to yourself — true independence. Well, the wait is over and so is the fear.

Living under the defeatist directions of the false self, we wrongly assume that the only way to reach real independence, real safety, is to look to someone else to take us there.

It isn’t in another’s power to do for you what you must do for yourself. @guy_finley (Click to Tweet!)

It never has been. Stop looking for what you hope to see in others and start seeing what you need to see. The clearer your vision becomes, the sooner you will see that your true nature is already fully independent and living freely. Let go.

However, as with any climb to a loftier view, there are always those spots that are more difficult than others to negotiate. The more light we can shed on these psychological outcrops that obscure our vision, the smoother our upward journey will be. Remember, truth will never lead you to an impasse. If it ever seems that way, it is only because you are needlessly trying to take something along with you that can’t be part of the higher life that awaits you just ahead. So let go. You will rise to the next step effortlessly.

Every step along the way to this higher, independent life is both the challenge and the reward. The challenge is always in how dark and uncertain the next step appears to be, and the reward, after you take the step, is the sweet and relief-filled discovery that who you really are cannot fall! In this way, step by step, a person walks into the fullness of their own independent, true nature.

This article is excerpted from The Secret of Letting Go

Guy Finley is the acclaimed author of more than 35 books and audio programs on the subject of self-realization, several of which have become international best sellers. His popular works, published in 17 languages, are widely endorsed by doctors, professionals, and religious leaders of all denominations. Among many others, his popular titles include: The Secret of Letting Go, Design Your Destiny, The Lost Secrets of Prayer, Apprentice of the Heart, and Let Go and Live in the Now. Finley is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for self-study located in Southern Oregon where he gives talks four times each week. Visit for a wealth of free helpful information, free audio and video downloads, and to request your free Self-Improvement Starter Kit.

Image courtesy of Dino Reichmuth.