What is real love?

I believe all forms of real, healthy love are built on self-love. The concept of self-love is often confused with selfishness, self-centeredness or narcissistic tendencies. There are many definitions of self-love out there but the one that most resonates with my work as a psychotherapist is, “Having regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).” When you like yourself and believe you are worthy of love and happiness, you attract people and circumstances that are aligned with that belief.

Self-love is a key component to attracting your heart’s desires in this life. @terri_cole (Click to Tweet!)

This may include a vibrant relationship, satisfying career or home life. As a psychotherapist and relationship expert for almost two decades, I’ve created what I believe to be the five essential pillars to real love. These pillars are tried and true and can be used as a guide to create the kind of romance and love that might be missing in your life.

In this week’s Real Love Revolution video, I cover:

  • Why I created the 5 Pillars of Real Love
  • How Self-Love is the Foundation for Real Love
  • Each of the 5 Pillars
  • How Transformation is Different than Change

The 5 Pillars include: 1. Self-Awareness, 2. Self-Knowledge, 3. Self-Acceptance, 4. Self-Compassion, and 5. Self-Love. You need to understand yourself and your history to know what has been preventing real love from entering your life until now. Limiting beliefs around love are developed from many things, including how you were treated as a child, the love that was modeled for you and the life experience you’ve had to date. The process of unpacking these memories and getting intimate with everything that has happened in your life will deepen your self-understanding and compassion, and this understanding puts you on the path towards deeper self-love.

Watch the video now to learn more about these pillars, and then download the Cheat Sheet: The 5 Pillars of Real Love, for a step by step guide of how to start working on the pillars. And, do the Self-Love Meditation to create the right mindset for ignoring your inner bully and loving yourself more on a daily basis.

There’s no better time than the present to create the real love in your life that thrills you, and I will be here cheering you on like a wild maniac!


Click here to watch this video now!

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. Sign up for Terri’s weekly Newsletter, check out her blog and follow her on Twitter.

Image courtesy of HAMZA BUTT.