Did you have positive, healthy love role models growing up?

I asked that question in a survey to over 2,500 women, and their answers were astonishing. 67% said they did not have positive love role models growing up, and this is clearly a very high percentage. Many people blame themselves for sabotaging their relationships or their love stories, but really, how can you create positive, healthy love if it was never modeled for you or taught to you (until now)?

In this Real Love Revolution video, I’m going to talk about ways you might be sabotaging your relationships right now, and how to identify what behaviors you are repeating. Plus I will cover:

  • How to Identify Your Unconscious Beliefs About Love
  • How Your Background and Childhood is Affecting Your Relationships Today
  • Identifying the Behavioral Thread that Has Connected All Your Past Relationships
  • How to Stop Repeating Bad, Unfulfilling Love Patterns


One way to better understand your downloaded beliefs around love is to take a look at your past relationships. What is the thread that connects them? Do you run away from relationships? Do you become afraid when it gets to a certain point? Once you start understanding your reality and what you’ve experienced, you can also understand the story that you tell about your romantic relationships when people ask why you’re single (or if you’re happy in your relationship), which is highly indicative of how you feel internally.

To understand how romantic love gets downloaded as a paradigm in our unconscious mind, we must identify what behavior was modeled in the home we grew up in. If there was violence or a lot of conflicts, pain and love got fused together early on in your life. So you recognize conflict as what romantic love “should” be like. If you reflect now, how many things have you been doing in your romantic history simply because it’s what you saw? Because it’s what was modeled for you when you were growing up?

We are highly influenced by the tribe we come from (our families), our cultures, the countries we live in, and of course, most specifically, by the homes that we grew up in.

So download and fill out the Love Blueprint to become aware of the full picture of how you behave in relationships and where this behavior was first modeled for you.

Not having healthy role models, does not mean you cannot have healthy love. @terri_cole (Click to Tweet!)

That’s why you’re watching this video and reading this blog, and that’s why I created the Real Love Revolution – everyone has the power to have this corrective emotional experience, but you need to be mindful enough to know that you need it. You need the desire to do something different in your life and to relate differently to love. And I know you are capable of doing just that (don’t worry, I’ll guide you!)

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. Sign up for Terri’s weekly Newsletter, check out her blog and follow her on Twitter.

Image courtesy of Hamza Butt.